


Not Your Fault

by orphan_account



Series: Our Lives for Your Entertainment [1]
Category: Hockey RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Mpreg, Character Suicide, Chicago Blackhawks, Falling In Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Making Love, Minor Character Death, Minor character abortion, Mpreg, Ovechkin trade, Pittsburgh Penguins, Secret Sidney, Stubborn Russians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1829152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>His team doesn't really know that much about him. They do know his character. Strong minded, head strong, determined, loving. Hockey is the only life that they know he has. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Sidney wants to keep it that way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sometimes has ... feelings towards other .. men. Sexual desires toward his friends. Seeing them in the shower, catching glimpses as they changed (never on purpose though). Watching them kiss their girlfriends or wives, wishing to perform those same actions on them .. or just anyone.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This starts as a description of Sidney's life before the story really starts on a plane ride post 2010 Olympics.
> 
> Unbeta'd, but I'm looking for anyone who wants to beta this if they want to.

Title: Not Your Fault (after the song by AWOLNATIONN)

Chapter 1:

-2010-

Sidney will easily be remembered as one of the best hockey players to ever play in the NHL. He'll also be recognized for being one of the most hated as well.

But for all those people who have actually had the rare opportunity to be with him where he's completely off the ice, both mentally and physically, he's known as the awkward kid who stands by himself most off the ice. His hands stuffed in his pockets as he tries to avoid every conversation humanly possible.  
The media sees him as the young kid who moved into Mario's house in 2006. Portraying the image that -he- asked Mario if he could move in. Whether he was to lazy to buy his own house or he was to much of a whimp to deal with adult stuff, they never classified it. When he did move out, it was only across the street. Which didn't really help his image, apparently.

His team knows that -Mario- asked Sidney to move in with him. He felt the kid needed some parental guidance after meeting his broken home. Even when Mario came to Sid's house in Nova Scotia to interview his before officially signing him to the Penguins, his mother and father had argued. Yelling and cursing in front of their eight year old daughter, their son, and their guest.

Mario had kept quiet then, but his face read the emotions as Sidney tries to apologize with his eyes and hide his true feelings of heart break and disappointment. Taylor had sprung up from the kitchen table, crying her eyes out as she ran to her room.

Trying to be the only one with manners, Sidney apologized to Mario, explaining how he would understand if he wasn't their top choice but would love to play for him. Lemieux melted under the kid's sad gaze, the broken heart and unshed tears so evident in his eyes. So he caved, picking Sidney up with their first pick.

The media also projects him as secretive, never wanting to talk about his personal life or share it with anyone. Sidney always gives off bland, boring answers that really don't say much of anything.

His team doesn't really know that much about him. They do know his character. Strong minded, head strong, determined, loving. Hockey is the only life that they know he has.  
And Sidney wants to keep it that way.

He sometimes has ... feelings towards other .. men. Sexual desires toward his friends. Seeing them in the shower, catching glimpses as they changed (never on purpose though). Watching them kiss their girlfriends or wives, wishing to perform those same actions on them .. or just anyone.

They'll never no. No one will ever know. Everyone will hate him, reject him. He's not Jonathan Toews. He can't just be the most gay guy ever, fucking everything with a dick, and expect to be liked. Or expect someone to not talk, to gossip, for the story to somehow 'leak' to the media.  
Everyone hates him, they'd look for an easy way to ruin his career.

"Hey Squid, you okay?" Colby asks, poking him in the side.

Sidney turns his head away from the window, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Colby looks at him with a worried expression, hand resting on Sid's thigh for a second before pulling away and restarting a topic they've debated about since last year .. How have they not reached a verdict?

"Why can't we all just agree that no one likes either horseradish or sauerkraut?" Flower suggests.

Talbot and Army look at him like he's some sort of monster that just ate their grandma or something.

Sidney rolls his eyes, adverting his gaze back to the window. Staring out into the black, starry sky. It's a beautiful thing to see really. The contrast of the night sky to the bright, sparkling stars.

It's something he's always wanted his children to see. But he'd never have any. So he'll pray that his neices and nephews will get to experience the things that he appreciates the most and will never have to live the life he does.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to pretend Russia actually has gay bars in case they don't.  
> I feel really bad about making Sidney's parents horrible people again. I'm sure they're actually nice. I'm so sorry.

Chapter 2:  
-2014-   
Sidney sighs, shutting off the television in his Olympic suite. He loves hockey. For a while, he was perfectly content spending his nights watching recaps of previous games and making mental notes on how to fix his.

Things changed after his twenty-sixth birthday.

It started to seem like everyone was settling down, or at least was in a happy relationship that would be evolving pretty soon.

Hell, even Tanger proposed to his girlfriend. (She said no because he was intoxicated at the time, but it's still the thought that counts.)

Then he had this talk with Mario about him needing to find someone. Someone to make him happy, to pleasure him at night (yes, Mario actually said that.)

At the time, Sidney shrugged it off. Mario doesn't know, his parents never will. They don't understand, wouldn't understand.

Ever since then, the night if his party when Mario had talked to him, Sidney began to realize that he's lonely, really lonely. He wants to be with someone, to feel someone buried deep inside him. Just to put his mind at ease.

Before he had a change of heart, Sidney grabs his keys in a hurry and all but runs out the door and into his Range Rover. Setting his GPS to find the nearest gay bar.

Obviously he doesn't know the name of the place (it's in Russian, duh). No one will recognize him. Ball cap pulled over his face as far as it will go as he keeps his head bowed.

The music in the strip club is loud and obnoxious. But hey, it's a strip club. He's going to focus on the men rather than the music.

Sidney is going to designate himself, so he orders a glass of vodka and nothing else.  
It's a good half hour. Watching mostly naked men grind on each other, a few dancers even ground on him. Telling the Canadian how good he looked and shouldn't be standing there all by himself. Sidney would just dismiss them with a wave of the hand and told him that he's fine.

Well, that is until he meets the gaze of Alexander Ovechkin.

He really wasn't expecting it. Sidney's eyes were just floating around the room when he first spotted him. Not even a second later, Alex looked up.

Those gorgeous blue eyes burned a hole through him. Usually so bright, filled with joy and arrogance. Now dark and mysterious.

He still felt the Russian's gaze on him as his eyes adverted to a small rubbing up on him.  
Instead of letting the dancer do his dance and then walk away, Sidney pulled him in for a hot, sloppy kiss. Not stopping even as he felt the gaze get closer.

If he's going to be watched, he'll make it a good show.

The smaller guy, who looks no older than nineteen, looks awestruck as he moves onto someone else. Mouth gaped open and eyes a dark shade of brown, erection showing through his skimpy leather overalls.

Ovechkin took his place. Hand on Sid's arm as he towered over the younger man. Blue eyes a near shade of navy, lips parted open as if he were going to speak but can't find the right words.

Sidney puts him out of his misery, "Your place or mine?"

"Yours." Alex responds quickly.

Sidney nods in agreement, lightly pushing the Russian off him to go outside  
.  
The whole time he felt the gaze on his back, so he made sure to swirve his hips more than what he usually does as he walks.

It hadn't really clicked into Sid's mind that it was nearly midnight until he was tiptoing down the nearly pitch black hallway, luminated by only a small light hanging from the ceiling, holding Alex's hand, pulling him eagerly toward his room and into it.

The door was barely shut behind them before Alex devoured Sid's mouth, hands cupping the curve of his ass. The Canadian reached up, fingers tugging the short brown hair. Wanting more. Desperatly fighting to have more, to have everything the other man could give him.

Sidney wasn't sure how far they were actually going to go until Alex had him pinned to the bed by his wrists, knee rubbing against the smaller man's erection.

He pressed into the movement, moaning and whining for the teasing to stop. Alex pulled back, his deep chuckle coming from the bottom of his throat.

"Always slut for other men?" Alex growls.

Sidney shakes his head, voice waivering, "No ... No, only you."

Ovechkin seems pleased with that answer, a smirk on his face to show it. He slowly slides Sid's shirt up and over his head, eyes and hands admiring the pale flesh beneath it. Sidney makes a whining sound, pulling up Alex's shirt to show off his nipples as he begs for more.  
"Impatient Sid." Alex chuckles, taking off his shirt in a swift, fluid motion.

The realization kicks in on how -long- it's been since Sidney has touched another human being. His heart skipping a beat or two, throat swelling up, palms sweaty as he hastily tries to unbuckle the other man's belt.

Ovechkin's fingers wrap around his wrist, making him freeze. Sid looks up through his lashes. Watching the way the Russian's breath hitches before releasing him, working off his own pants. Sid undoes his belt and undoes his pants, hands inhibiting himself as a thought smacks into his mind.

"You ... You have a c-condom. Right?" Sidney asks.

Alex raises an eyebrow, "Think I be here if didn't?"

Sidney sighs out of relief mentally. Shimmying his jeans down to his ankles. Realizing that Alex was already naked, he decides to push down his boxers before sliding them off his ankles.

Ovechkin looks over Sid's exposed body, watching the muscles untense as he relaxes onto his back. He smirks at himself, fishing the condom and lube out of his pants that lay on the ground.

Sidney opens his legs, spreading himself as open as he can. Alex positions himself, one hand on the smaller man's hip as he bends down, kissing him roughly on the lips.

"How many time you do this?" Alex asks.

Sid resists rolling his eyes, "Enough times to know what I'm doing."

Alex laughs, pressing a lubed up finger into Sid, watching the way he grimaces, "Sure 'bout that? I go slow then."

Sidney scowls, "Even think about it and I'll make you leave."

Sidney tries his hardest to be pissed, but with Alex's finger stretching open his hole, especially when he slips in the second one, it's He tries hard not to moan, biting his lip and shooting daggers through eyes.

Alex rolls his eyes, kissing the top of his head as he slips in another finger. Sidney whimpers, the fingers filling him as they press in more and more. Ovechkin laughs at him, taking Sid's bottom lip from underneath the smaller man's teeth and into his own mouth as his fingers thrust into him.

He yelps when Alex's fingers brush his prostate, again a little deeper when they do it again.  
With a statisfied smirk, Ovechkin pulls out,bending down to whisper something in Sid's ear.  
Of course, he says it in Russian, like he's supposed to speak the language.

"I don't know what the hell you just said because I don't speak Russian." Sidney says.  
Alex is unresponsive. Just staring down at him with dark blue eyes that look grave, more so than he's ever seen. Not even when he played against the Russian, when things really should be the most serious. Yet now, with his dick brushing the Canadian's hole, he looks like it's a life or death situation, or it's so important to him that he does this right.

And it makes Sidney's heart flutter.

He whimpers as Alex gently pushes in. Awkwardly inhaling and exhaling as he tries to hold the blue gaze above him. Sid fails about half way through, letting his eyes flutter shut as he moans, opening them half way then grabs Ovechkin's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Their bodies pressed together, french kissing through moans and mostly in timed thrusts. Alex's cock hits his prostate, causing Sid to both yelp and groan in pleasure before his mouth is devoured by the other man.

Ovechkin pulls away, laying his forehead on the smaller man's as he thrusts into his prostate, softly at first. Sidney moans louder, begging to go harder, faster.

Alex does as he says, pressing kisses on every inch of Sidney's face. Muttering soft things in Russian as he does.

Sid lays there, making noises out of pure bliss as his body rocks with Alex's thrusts.  
His balls start to swell, moans getting louder and chest growing tighter.

"Alex I'm gonna ... I'm .. I-I-m gonna." Sidney studders.

Alex says something in Russian, sucking the side of Sid's neck.

"Still don't .. don't speak R-Russian." Sidney forces out.

Ovechkin nods, his forehead laying on the crook of Sidney's neck as the young Canadian's body jerks through his orgasm.

With one final thrust, Alex follows suit.

Neither one move, breathing in sweat and laying in their post sex glory. It's all really amazing, getting to be so close to someone after basically no touching at all.

When Ovechkin pulls out, the wet popping sound is the only noise either of them makes. Sid watches in silence as Alex climbs out of bed, going to the bathroom to get a washcloth and wipe the come off the smaller man's stomach. Wordlessly cleaning him before going to return it to the bathroom.

Sidney covers his bottom half with the thin hotel blanket. The excessively cold A/C is apparently on full blast and causes him to shiver.

Alex clears his throat, "Do you want me to leave?"

Sidney shakes his head, "Not really."

Ovechkin nods, climbing back into bed and laying down.

Sid turns his back to him, trying to curl into a tight ball to keep warm. When that plan falls and he shivers even more, he sighs, turning to Alex and laying as close as the Russian would let him.

"Why did you no tell me you cold?" Alex asks, pulling Sidney closer so their bodies press together.

"Why, so you can make fun of me?" Sidney questions.

Ovechkin says a sentence in Russian. Okay, this is the third time now and he's had enough of this bullshit.

"I -still- don't speak Russian." Sidney points out.

Alex chuckles, running a hand through the Canadian's hair, "I know, this be our thing though."  
Sidney rolls his eyes, laying his head in the middle of the older man's chest. Taking in the strong cologne of the warm body next to him.

It's a strange sensation. One that rises in the put of his stomach, starting off as butterflies before burning into a wave of heart, spreading through his body until he can feel everything. The feeling of a lover, another human being, so close to you.

It's a feeling Sidney doesn't know if he'll have again, but he can only take what he gets.

~

Sidney doesn't see Alex again. He didn't really expect to, they didn't play against each other for the rest of the season and the Caps got blown out by the Bruins in the first round of the playoffs, then Boston came and stomped out the Pens. (Maybe they really are Boston strong?) He contemplated asking Geno for Ovechkin's number. But after seeing the severe slump that the Russian went through, the rumors of the Caps trading him, he decided that he's one of the last peope that Alex wants to talk to.

He flies up to Cole Harbour to spend his summer. Family more disfunctional than ever. He'd much rather not stay there. But he wants to help his sister because it's not fair she has to stay at home by herself.

"I got accepted into Shattuck's." Taylor blurts out as they walk through their backyard.

Sidney freezes in his tracks, "So are um .. they going with you?"

Taylor smiles, "That's the best part, they're not. And .. and I'm going to spend the rest of my high school years there."

Sid stretches out his arms, pulling in his sister. Whispering encouragments on the top of her head as she cries into his shirt.

He remembers going to Shattuck-Saint Mary's himself. Being elated that he was accepted into the school, he didn't have many friends to leave behind so it's not like that mattered.

On the other hand, he left his sister alone for a whole year. A knot in his stomach as he left, twisted with fear and guilt. But he had to do it, for his career. It was a selfish move, but it was worth it.

Now his sister could be free. Off to live the life she was destined to live, to be the best goalie that she could be. (Even better than Flower.) And she wouldn't have to suffer in this hell hole any longer.

On the trip back to the house, Sidney explains how he'd buy her new pads and skates, and to never be afraid to call him for anything. Whether it be money, boyfriend advice, drama, or just someone to talk to, he'll always be there.

"Sid, you're already paying their morgage and bills, I'm not going to make you buy me anything that will put you in a financial burden." Taylor objects, sliding open the patio door to walk into the kitchen.

Sidney shuts the door behind him with a sigh, "Tay, anything for you is worth it."

"Then ... why do you do it for them?" Taylor's voice is so quiet he barely hears it.

"Because the media would portray me as the bad son who let his parents' house be foreclosed while he's off making millions." Sid points out.

Their mom comes in. Her face pale and her eyes wide, "Taylor, we um .. can't afford to send you to Shattuck's. We're sorry."

"But mom-"

"No buts young lady. We can't afford to pay your tuition fee."

Taylor's face reddens and she opens her mouth to speak.

"I'll do it." Sidney says in a rush. They both look at him surprised. "Well I mean .. I probably won't be tight on money since most of it goes here anyway."

"Sidney, you're such a sweet boy." Trina says.

"Mom, you seriously can't let him just pay for everything." Taylor objects.

Sidney grabs her by the shoulders, "Taylor, stop it's fine. I want to."

His sister's eyes water up as she pulls in her brother for another long hug.

Sidney kisses the top of her head, watching the way his mother just leaves. No apology, no thank you, no form of gratitude. Nothing. Like he hasn't kept their house from going away or kept them alive for the past eight years.

Well, that's his parents.

~

The week before his birthday, he flies down with Taylor to Minnesota. Paying her tuition, dormroom, and athletic fees, then for all her books and everything she'll need for the rest of the year.

"Make sure that you call the media and tell them all about how Sidney Crosby is -such- a great brother that he pays to make his sister's dreams come true and to keep his parents in a stable home." Taylor says to lady, whipping around to head to her dorm.

"You really are a great brother. Not a lot of people, even in your position, would do something like that." The lady says.

Sidney nods politely at her, following his sister to her room.

She has a nice roommate named Annabeth. Doesn't play hockey. But she's from Oklahoma (with one of those adorable country accents) and is actually very sweet.

He almost feels quilty when he takes Taylor shopping ... so her friend comes too.

~

The media have a field day. Taking snap shots of Sidney with Taylor and Annabeth, going in sports equipment stores and trying desperately to get out of all those girly stores as the two teenagers debate over shoes.

When he drops Taylor off at four thirty, he kisses her forehead goodnight, feeling satisfied that he did something for his sister that his parents -- or really anyone for that matter -- did for him.

~

He spent his birthday alone. Watching reruns of Animal Hoarders and Too Cute! because he has a thing for shows on Animal Planet.

He spends his weekend alone as well, as he does every week end, when someone calls him at two in the morning.

"What do you want Colby, it's three in the morning?" Sidney groans.

"When is your birthday Squid?" Army asks.

Sidney rolls his eyes, "Two days ago. Thanks for remembering asshole."

Army sighs, "How am I supposed to remember your birthday?"

"Because it's my number jackass." Sidney can picture the confused look on his friend's face. "August 7, 1987. 8.7. 87."

Army sighs, "Well, what did you do? You're like .. twenty-seven now, right?"

"I didn't do anything and yes-"

"Wait, your team didn't celebrate with you?" Colby interrupts.

"They did last year and-." Sidney replies.

"Well um .. I'll have a talk with team. Call you later Squid." Colby says quickly.

"Colby-"

The line goes dead.

He tosses the phone onto his nightstand, laying his head back down with a sigh.

Every night since the Olympics, Sidney has thought about Alex. The way the Russian held him, muttering soft words in his home language. The look in Alex's eyes when he fucked the smaller man. How they both just wanted it so bad that they didn't have to even say it, they could feel it.

Sidney hasn't really ever .. thought about Alex like that. Sure, he's hot, that's obvious. But actually being able to do .. -that- with him. The thought had never even crossed his mind. Not once.

And now it's all he can think about.

Sid forces his eyes shut. There's absolutely no way he'll be able to sleep. He has to at least try though.

At least he has the start of the season to look forward to.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:  
Sidney walks into the locker room feeling fresher than normal. He's well rested and ready to kick some Ranger ass. There is nothing that can dampen his mood.

"Sid! Look at new teammates!" Geno calls, waving at him.

He sees Max and Army and he wants to start crying of joy. But he sees Alex and -

Oh. _Alex_ plays for the Penguins, his Penguins. Now he definitely wants to cry, and end his life.

"Max, Army, glad to have you back. Alex, good to have you. I hope you're finding your way around Pittsburgh without to much difficulties." Sidney is a captain, so he grits out those false and overused words.

Alex smirks, "Zhenya good friend, let me live with him while I find better place."

Geno looks ecstatic. If only he knew how much Sidney is dying on the inside. "That's a very kind thing for you to do Geno. Maybe I won't make you do that many suicides today." He says and winks. Colby, Max, and Geno visibly cringes when he says suicide and he smirks. A good captain is one that is feared by his teammates when it comes to daily physical activities.

"Can't be as bad as Oates." Alex says and shrugs.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

~

After practice, Alex is breathing heavily and sweat drips down his forehead. He takes his helmet off and runs hand through his drenched hair.

Sidney is beyond turned on right now. And it doesn't help when Alex purposefully presses into his personal space bubble.

"No wonder body look so good. Work out lots." Alex whispers, smiling seductively. Sidney blushes and turn away, ignoring the way his dick is getting harder.

"Uh, yeah, thanks." Sid says and clear his throat. Ovechkin rests a hand on Sidney's hip before he walks over the showers. Sid shudders and rolls his shoulders.

This is going to be disastrous.

~

They play at home that night against the Rangers, and it goes remarkably well.  
Alex does .. amazing. Sidney can't take his eyes off him. All of the Russian's passes connect to a teammate, gliding beautiful across the ice to it's intended target without fail.  
And it's making Sidney get hot, -very- hot.  
Late in the third quarter, they're down one-two. Nealer has the puck, he shots to Ovechkin and -  
The horn goes off.  
Sid is surprised to watch Alex calmly raise his arm in the air, lowering it as he skates over to the bench and high five his awaiting teammates.  
As Ovechkin skates away, he turns slightly, blowing a kiss in Sidney's direction.  
A wave of warmth spreads through his body, going straight to his groin. He shifts uncomfortably, making Geno chuckle softly at him.  
The game is tied, less than a minute left on the clock. Sidney bursts onto the ice. Alex is wrestling with St. Louis against the board, nearly elbowing Martin in the face just to break free. They make eye contact, the Russian passing to him.  
Sidney sends it over Cam Talbot's shoulder, and the horn goes off again merely a second before the game ends.  
The crowd goes wild. Cheering insanely loud as the Pens nearly tackle their captain to the ice in celebration.  
He laughs hysterically. Hugging his teammates tightly, yelling things of encouragment over the loud audience.  
"You best." Alex says, hugging Sid close.  
Sid's cock twitches from the feeling of being against the other man. The sweat dripping off Ovechkin's forehead that the Russian wipes off with a smirk, eyes turning sapphire.  
He's never gotten a boner while (or after) playing. But hey, there's a first time for everything.  
It seems like time moves slowly, lining up for the handshakes and then delivering them. Going through the interviews, answering questions that seem stupider than normal.  
("Do you feel that Ovechkin was a bad addition to your team?" Charles from CBS asks.  
Sidney literally rolls his eyes, "Of course not. He evened the game and set us up to win it.")  
Skipping the shower, he towels off his face before changing to his street clothes. A loose fitting, plain black shirt with jeans. It's not like he'll be keeping them on for long anyways.  
Alex apparently has the same intentions since he's dressed in a bright pink Elmo shirt and sweat pants.  
Ignoring the hideousness of Ovechkin's shirt, he approaches the older man.  
"Mine or yours?" Sidney asks lamely.  
Alex smirks, "Mine."  
A little taken back, he just nods, "Lead the way."  
Ovechkin places a hand on Sid's shoulder, looking down at him with dark eyes, before turning around and wordlessly walking to the parking lot.  
Rolling the shoulder that Alex touched, he follows. Sidney tries not to make it obvious they're walking together by stalking a few spaces behind, and by not staring at his gorgeous physique or the small bump of his ass.  
No, he'd admire those later.  
~  
Sidney's body jerks through his orgasm, warm liquid filling his ass from Alex's own release.  
He flops down onto his stomach after the Russian pulls out.  
"Want me to uh clean?" Alex asks.  
Too tired to talk, Sidney buries his face in the unfamiliar pillow and tries to become accustom to it's scent. After the sex they just had, there's no way he's going home.  
"Spending night?" Ovechkin asks.  
Sidney lifts his head up to look at the other man, "Do you not want me to?"  
Alex bites his lip, silently nodding as he pulls the fluffy blanket over them.  
Sidney really hopes the odd look in Alex's eyes are just a figment of his imagination and he's not actually bothered by anything.  
"Night Sid." The sadness in the Russian's voice indicates that he was wrong.  
"Wait," Sidney says before the light is turned off, "Um .. are you alright?"  
Alex looks at him confused, "Why would I no be?"  
"Well, you sound and look sad," Sid points out, "So what's wrong?"  
Ovechkin looks over his captain, eyes roaming down the mostly exposed skin of his pale back. "Don't know what you talk about. Am Russian, always happy."  
Sid flips his body and sits up, grabbing Alex's hand, "I know that you all think I'm some hockey playing robot, but I'm not. I know what emotions and feelings are. And I can tell you're struggling with some right now."  
"You right Sid," Alex says, smirking, "Robot can no be good at sex like you are."  
Sidney blushes, "Oh my god, shut up."  
"Not only you hockey god, you also sex god!" Ovechkin says excitedly.  
"You know what, never mind that I asked." Sidney chuckles.  
Alex's free hand moves up Sid's arm lightly, making the Canadian shiver. "We fuck four time now, yet I no take you out to dinner. Feel .... bad."  
"Well, who's fault is that for not asking?" Sidney teases.  
The Russian mocks being hurt, "No wanted to be rejected by Sidney Crosby! Would be embarassing! Teammates chirp me for life."  
"They wouldn't know either way, silly. So you have nothing to worry about." Sidney objects.  
Alex yawns, stretching out his arms, "We sleep now?"  
Sidney reaches across the larger man, turning off the lap and settling into his arms.  
"Night Sid."  
"Night Alex."  
~  
The next game the play is in New York against the Islanders where they shut them out, three to none. Paulie, Neal, and Alex all scoring.  
Game three is in Philadelphia. It's tough, especially since they always play dirty. But they pull it out in double over time with Bennett getting it in the net.  
The Penguins fly back to Pittsburgh to win an easy five-two against the Capitals. Sidney getting a hat trick, with Tanner and Alex both scoring late in the third.  
Sidney really didn't expect him and Alex to have sex tonight, so he doesn't understand why he's so upset when the Russian wants to hang out with Nick.  
"Just don't tell him any of our secrets." Sidney weakly jokes.  
Alex puts his hand on the Canadian's shoulder, "Of course not! Just brag that Crosby best captain ever!"  
His shoulders slump in disappointment, the fake wall of bravery softens under Alex's gaze.  
Still, he smiles, "Well, have fun."  
Ovechkin returns the smile, wrapping his arms around Sid. Making the small Canadian expect a hug, so he closes his eyes and leans in.  
Sidney opens them wide when Alex's lips brush against his. The Russian chuckles, leaving a dazed and confused Sid alone in the middle of the empty locker room.  
Shaking his head, Sidney slings his bag onto his shoulder and heads out the door.  
"Great! You're finally detached from your Russian side kick." Colby teases, "So can I have my Squid back?"  
Rolling his eyes, Sidney smiles, "I never stopped being your Squid."  
Army uses the smaller Canadian as an arm rest as they walk together to Sid's Range Rover. The whole time explaining how he carpooled with a very stubborn Geno and will -never- do it again, even in a life or death situation.  
"Come on, he's not -that- bad." Sidney objects.  
Colby turns to look at him like Sid just killed his entire family by throwing them into a volcano and watches them melt while laughing like an evil genius, or something.  
~  
He clearly doesn't have sex that night. (Armstrong is like his brother, and that's just weird.) Sidney stays up even after his friend's midnight departure (who calls a cab at this hour, really?). He half expects, half wants Alex to barge into his bedroom, taking Sid in his arms and confessing his eternal love for his captain, or whatever. (Just something really romantic, okay?).  
Around two in the morning, he gives up. They have an early, mandatory skate tomorrow, so he forces sleep.  
~  
Game five, six, seven, and eight they win. (Game five against the Blue Jackets ends 3-2, but all the others end in a shut out.)  
They play San Jose at home, losing 3-4. Ending their eight game win streak.  
Then they travel to Nashville to lose one to two. James scoring their only goal.  
Sidney knew that they would lose eventually. (He more or less figured it would be game six in Chicago, or game eight at home against Toronto, but was pleasantly surprised when they pulled out a victory.) Still, the sting of loss always hurts, especially since neither Alex or Sid scored in any of those games. (Though Alex did have two assists.)  
Not to mention they haven't been having sex.  
Okay, they haven't been trying. Sidney keeps saying he's to tired and he's not feeling good (which he is). But he's actually really hurt, and a little pissed.  
Sidney really shouldn't be. Just because they're fucking doesn't mean it's any of Sid's business when Alex walks into practice the next morning a bit hung over and a hickey on his neck. As a captain, it should anger him a little that his team's alternate captain would be so irresponsible, especially since they have to travel to San Jose to play the Sharks tomorrow night. Just leave it at the door, don't take it home, pick it up the next day.  
Yet he can't stop thinking about it.  
Sid and Alex have never made themselves exclusive. Never said that they're not allowed to see other people. There isn't any sensible reason to why his blood boils just thinking about Nick getting what Sidney wanted that night, what kept him up all night fantasizing him about.  
They still don't talk when they touch down in California, or after they beat them three to two, even though Alex got a well deserved hat trick. Sidney really didn't give him anything more than an awkward group hug with Geno and Tanger, with a gentle pat on the head.  
After the game, he showers quickly and gets to the hotel faster than anybody else did. Despite his speed, he barely has enough time to close the door behind him and put his bag on the ground before a loud knock makes him jump.  
"I come in?" Alex asks.  
Sidney steps into the way, "Why?"  
Ovechkin rolls his eyes, "You really want me to confess to everyone in hallway we have sex?"  
Squinting his eyes, Sid moves out of the way, gently closing the door behind the Russian.  
"Why you avoid me?" Alex asks.  
"I'm not avoiding you." Sidney lies.  
Apparently Sid is the worst liar ever, because Alex gives him a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me look. "Sid, you not talk to me since Caps game. What I do?"  
Sidney sighs, there's no way he can be this clueless, "Listen, I'm just really tired and I don't feel good. So, can you leave?"  
Alex frowns, "You sick? Have cold?" The Russian brings up a hand to Sid's forehead, the smaller man knocking it away before it actually touches skin.  
Ignoring the hurt look on the other man's face, Sidney takes a step back, "Um. Can you, can you just leave?"  
Ovechkin's forehead creases, a confused look in his beautiful eyes, "Sid, what I do? Please tell me, I fix it."  
Sidney looks at the ground, "You should just go, okay? I'm sure you have some other Swedish fuck buddy hiding in your room, so can you just .. go."  
Alex looks at the ground, "This because me and Nicky? Because he and I, just friends. Like you and I, no reason to make you upset."  
"I wouldn't be upset if we didn't do this in the first place!" Sidney blurts out. "Maybe if we never did this in the first place, it wouldn't be fucking up my game either."  
He has no idea where that came from, he's never even thought about ending it with Alex. In fact, it would destroy him to think he'd never get to lay in the other man's arms again.  
"I'm sorry. I-I .. I didn't mean that." Sidney says in a panicked rush.  
Alex nods, "You right Sid. Maybe we no do this anymore."  
A knot started to form in Sidney's stomach, his throat swelling up, lungs collapsing, making him feel queasy.  
"Alex-"  
Ovechkin put up a hand to cut him off, "I sorry. I leave."  
Sidney watched, wordless and frozen into place. It was like the first time he saw the Russian on the ice. He couldn't move, to afraid of what would happen next. Everything screaming to go after him, yet he couldn't.  
Alex left, glancing back with a look of desperation and unfallen tears, before leaving. Walking out of Sidney's life again, this time it being the Canadian's fault rather than a choice.  
Sidney curls into a ball onto the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. His heart feels like it's cracked open, blood pouring out to fill up his already malfunctioning lungs.  
If only it actually would.  



	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

They win their next two home games against Dallas and Edmonton. Alex gets another hat trick against the Stars, and scores twice in their 3-1 win against the Oilers (where Geno gets their other goal).

After that, they travel to Phoenix. It's a grueling, scoreless game that goes all the way into a shoot out. Ending one to none when Mike Ribeiro wins it for the Coyotes  
.  
Sidney is fairly disappointed. Not that they lost the game. Hey, they've lost three times in fourteen games, that's impressive.

Over the next two weeks, he's been moving really slow, sometimes wobbling on his skates after doing like ten laps (when he can normally do like fifty at full speed before his hands start to shake) during practice. He's sitting on the bench a hell of a lot more than what he's used to. Sid has also expanded his normal amount of food in take, allowing some junk food in his 'diet'. So it doesn't really surprise him when his weight shows a little through his normally loose clothes.

One day at practice, Mario shows up just to evaluate what's been going on.  
And of course, that happens to be the day Sidney almost collapses.

"No, I'm ... I'm fine." Sidney protests as Tanger leads him off the ice to Mario's awaiting hands.  
"Sidney, look at you. You can barely skate and you're wheezing." Mario points out. "Come on, I'm taking you to Chris."

"Seriously, there's nothing wrong." Sidney objects.

The whole time he's dragged off the ice, he can feel Alex staring at him. And Sidney can only imagine the disappointment, the hatred, in them.

Chris looks at them surprised when they walk into his office.

"Hello Mr. Lemieux, Mr. Crosby. What can I help you with?" Chris asks, grabbing a clipboard.  
"Sidney here, is having some uh, symptoms that I think you should look at." Mario says, handing his captain over to the physician, "Do whatever tests you want, no matter what he says, you have my permission on everything."

"Mario-" Sidney is about to object, but the older man walks out the door. Abandoning him to do whatever Chris wants.

"Okay, hop up here." The physician orders, gesturing to the table.

Sidney does as he says, "You know, this isn't really necessary."

"I'm sure it's just Mario being over protective as usual. But it's good to have someone like that after all your concussions." Chris says, a small smile on his lips, "Tell me about your symptoms."

Sid sighs, "Okay. Well, I'm not moving as fast as. I used to. I mean, I know I'm not nineteen anymore. Still, I should be able to move faster." He pauses to let the physician finish scribbling, "And uh, I've been getting tired a lot, the drive I used to have has seemed to like .. disappear." He licks his dry lips, "I've been uh .. gaining a little bit of weight too."

"Have you been sticking to your diet?" Chris questions.

"No," Sidney forces out, "I'm trying to. It's just .. it's like I -need- to eat more. It's embarrassing and I really don't wanna talk about it because of that. And uh could not tell M-"

Chris puts up a hand, "I understand Sidney. Since we do technically have a doctor-patient privilege, I don't have to tell him what you don't want me to. But I do have to ask this and I -do- have to tell him your answer," He bites his lip, "Are you active sexually?"

"I was until a couple weeks ago," Sidney replies, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Chris frowns, "Did you know that you carry a gene for male gestation?"

Sidney still doesn't get it, "Yeah, what does that have to do-"

Oh.

"No. No, no, no." Sidney jumps down for the table, "I am -not- pregnant."

Chris grabs the Canadian's arm, "Just, let me do a test. I'll let you tell Mario if you're positive. But if you're not, then I'll try something else."

Under the physician's gentle glare, and the knowledge that he has to do this because Mario would kill him, Sidney acquiesces

For now, Chris takes his blood. Explaining how he was going to run some tests before he had to actually pee on the stick. The results wouldn't be finalized until tomorrow, but by then he'd already be in Tampa, getting ready to play against the Lighting, so Sid would have to wait until he got back to Pittsburgh to find out for sure.

Sidney retreats to the locker room, tears streaming down his face as he nearly runs to the shower.

Taking his time, Sid lets the cold water chill his body, easing his muscles, and scrubs off the sweat from his thirty minute practice.

His clothes feel smaller than they did when he wore them this morning, not to mention he feels self cautious. It's silly, the fear rising up in him. Nothing has been proven yet, and it's highly unlikely that he's carrying the child of his ex-lover because they always used protection.

"Hey Squid, everything cool with the doc? We're all really concerned." Colby's voice makes Sidney jump, looking up from the shoe he was tying.

"Oh um .. uh, yeah yeah. I'm fine." Sidney lies. "I'm playing tonight, so that's all that matters."  
Colby watches him skeptically. "Sidney, you know I love you, and I want what's best for you. And I know that hockey is your life and you will die playing it, but after seeing what I just saw during practice, and keeping your best interest at heart, maybe you should sit out tonight."  
Sidney stands up, hoisting his duffel up on his shoulder. "Colby, I really do appreciate your concern and everything. But I'm a grown man and I know how to make decisions. Okay. So thank you, but I know what I'm doing."

Army frowns, pulling Sid into a one arm hug. "I get it, just don't forget that I'm your friend on and off the ice."

Sidney sighs, clinging on desperately to the back of his friend's jersey. "You should um, come to Mario's the night we get back from Florida. So we can have dinner together."

Colby pulls back, kissing the top of the younger man's head, "Of course Squid."

Tears threatening to fall, and a vow that Army will keep the peace among their immature teammates in their captain's absence, he says a quick goodbye and heads out the door.

His vision starts to get blurry as he drives home, so he speeds a little. (Maybe he shouldn't be driving.)

As soon as the door is shut safely behind him, he goes up stairs and passes out the moment his head lands on the pillow.

~

The only reason he even woke up was because of a loud, persistent knocking on his door.  
Groaning as Sidney gets out of bed, he checks his phone, expecting the darkness of the room to be a figment of his imagination.

But no, he actually slept until nine p.m.

He trudges down the stairs, wearing a white tank top, Pink Panther pajamas, with his hair messy from sleep.

"Hi Alex." Sidney says to man standing in the threshold.

Alex offers a polite smile, "Have to be on plane soon, Mario want to get there at .. dawn? Come here to make sure you up and feeling well and to ... make sure you get there on time, no ... casualties?"

Sid smiles fondly, "Okay, so um. You can come in and wait if you like."

Ovechkin smirks, stepping inside. Sidney forces himself to break eye contact, muttering a thanks, and heading up stairs to get changed.

Sid dresses in a simple black button up and his most comfortable jeans. Deciding to save time by just brushing his hair and not using gel, he grabs his bag and goes down stairs.

He's not wearing anything special, nothing he wouldn't usually wear, but the way Alex looks surprised and the soft gasp, the Russian clearly checking out his captain, makes Sidney blush anyways. Fidgeting nervously when Ovechkin walks behind him, that same feeling of being stared at directed towards his ass, Sidney can already tell it's going to be an awkward drive.

"I apologize for bad driving." Alex says, placing a hand on Sid's lower back to guide him to his car, as if he needs help with that.

Sidney chuckles, "I highly doubt you're worse than Geno."  
~

Sidney was wrong, Alex makes Geno look like he's a professional driver for NASCAR.

"Is okay?" Alex asks once they're in the airport parking lot.

Sid releases the death grip he had on the door and opens it, "Yeah. Just glad we didn't hit anybody."

Getting out of the car, he stumbles to the back to receive his bag, almost falling over as he does.

Alex catches him, "You okay?"

Sidney gets a little closer, hands resting on the Russian's chest. He stares up into Alex's eyes, licking his lips, how easy it would be just to lean up, taking those lips with his own.

"S-Sid?" Alex asks, his voice deeper than normal.

Sidney blinks, taking a step back and looking around, at anywhere but his teammate. "Um, I'm sorry. I just uh, zoned out there."

Alex grunts, "Yeah. That what it was."

Without saying another word, they walk next to each other, hands brushing occasionally. They almost make it to the plane when --

"I have to pee."

Alex stops, raising an eyebrow at his captain, "Did you no pee at house?"

Sidney blushes, "Noooo." He lies, letting the last syllable hang over.

Ovechkin smirks, rolling his eyes and taking Sid's bag, "Okay. I take bags, you go."

Sidney reaches out, grabbing Alex's hand, "Wait, you're going to .. You want me to walk all the way over there by myself?"

Alex looks down at their hands, which makes Sidney pull back immediately, "Uh. You grown man, no?"

"Alex, come on." Sidney whines, pouting, "Pretty please."

Ovechkin frowns, waving for someone to join them.

Geno comes up moments later, "Hm?"

"Take bags on plane, I take Sid to pee." Alex orders.

Geno laughs, but does take their duffels without so much of a word in complaint.

"I see why you call 'Sid the Kid'." Alex huffs.

Sidney goes into the first available stall, not checking for it's cleanliness like usual.

Washing his hands quickly, he watches Alex stare at him in amusement.

"Problem?" Sidney asks, drying off his hands.

"You what, thirty, still need someone to go bathroom with you. Sad." Alex teases.

Sidney rolls his eyes, swinging open the door, "Twenty-seven actually."

Alex snorts, "Close enough."

Sidney stops, making the Russian nearly run into him, grabbing the smaller man's hips to stop the collision.

"Sid?"

Sidney turns around, eyeing up the other man, snapping out a, "Don't say that.", before marching to the awaiting plane.

Alex sighs, keeping a palm on his captain's back as they walk.

Sidney takes his normal seat next to Flower, and is more than surprised when Alex sits next to him.

"Eh, what took you so long?" Marc smirks, "Can't pee by yourself captain?"

Sid flicks Geno (who's sitting in front of him) in the ear, "Traitor."

Geno looks behind him, "Sorry Sid! You know I bad liar. Especially when they tickle me, not fair."

Tanger smirks at them, "Hey, if Sidney needs an escort to help him release his bladder, then who are we to judge?"

"We're very sorry Ovie. Squidy here has um ... an absence of parental guidance and needs assistance in his life." Colby apologizes from in front of them.

"Colby, I will-"

"Is okay." Alex says, "Is not like he pee on me, then I have problem."

Sidney slumps into his seat, trying to be pissed and ignoring the laughing.

He stays silent most of the ride. Listening to Alex's jokes, watching the way he fiddled with things and is always amazed by the smallest detail.

If Sidney is really pregnant, Alex would make a great father.

And that fact doesn't bother him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:  
They beat the Lightning easily, three to one. Max scoring his first goal of the season early in the fist quarter, then Brooksie getting two, one in the middle of the second and another late in the third. Malone gets a short handed goal for Tampa Bay, givng Sidney a concerned look even after the game is over with.

"We'll talk." Ryan promises during the handshake line.

Sidney wordlessly nods, keeping his eyes on the ice as he continues the pattern with numb hands.

Keeping to his word, Ryan is waiting for Sid outside the locker room.

"I'm still not really supposed to be driving. So here are my keys and I'll give you directions to my house."

Sidney looks at him disapprovingly, "I told you to stay away from Seguin. He's bad luck."

Malone shakes his head, "We'll talk about it at my house."

Sid sighs, turning his back on his friend. It's sad really, that Ryan had turned his life around. Did drugs and drank heavily for a kid who didn't take anything seriously.

Despite wanting to slap the sense back into Malone, Sidney gets in Ryan's car and drives home in silence, the rare mumble of which road to take, occasionally glancing over at the older man to see the desperation in his eyes.

Yeah, he'd slap him later.

Ryan graciously takes both of their bags into Sidney's house, "Damn Squid. You've been living here for what, four years now? Where the hell is all the furniture?"

Sidney does a quick check over of his living room. TV, couch, XBox One, coffee table, bookcase filled with books he's read a hundred times before, a cardboard box filled. with movies. It's not a lot, but it's definitely not under furnished. "What? I'm the only person living here, so there's no need for a lot of stuff."

"Come on, you're getting up there Sidney. Maybe you should -"

"We're not talking about my love life," Sidney interrupts, "We're talking about yours."

Malone groans, sitting on his former teammate's couch, "I know you're going to bitch at me. So just get it over with."

"You're an idiot." Sidney says, sitting down next to him, "You practically everything up for Tyler. You didn't listen to anybody, not even your own mother! I mean, where is he now? Why isn't he by your side?"

Ryan scrubs his face, "I broke up with him."

"What? Why the hell would you do that?" Sidney questions.

"Because ... Because, I-I didn't want to drag him into this." Ryan stutters.

Sidney squints his eyes at him, "Ryan. It's as much as his fault as it is yours. I don't care what the circumstances are between you two. But he can't just leave you to do it by yourself, when he's the one who caused it."

"Yeah? Well how would you feel if you were pregnant and had to deal with that shit?"

Sid's eyes widden at the same time Malone's does, "Uh .. Excuse me?"

Ryan's shoulders slump, "He .. He got pregnant. And, Tyler wanted to get rid of it. So. I told him that if he went through with it, we'd be done."

"Why, why would he want to get an abortion?" Sidney asks, dumbfound.

"Sid, you should know more than anyone how important hockey is, and how it would ruin his career if the media found out. And it's not like he could fake an injury, because he's not even hurt." Ryan explains.

The young Canadian's blood starts to boil, emotions over taking him, "That is a bunch of fucking bullshit. There is a human, a baby who just wants to live a life. He has no right to kill it. The baby can't protest. I mean it's not like -"

"Sidney calm down." Ryan pleads, grabbing Sidney by the shoulders.

Sid shakes his hands off, "No! It's not only his child. It's yours too and obviously you want to keep it."

"Sidney. You have to think about his career. What we did anyways was wrong-"

"I don't give a flying fuck if it was wrong or not. You still produced a baby. I mean, if you so concerned about it now, then what the hell were you thinking then?" Ryan opens his mouth to speak, but Sidney puts up a hand, shaking from anger, "And now, you're going to sit here and defend him? What the hell is wrong with you two? Maybe you should've thought about all the possibilities when you decided not to use protection. Yeah, how about that? I mean, I'm going to keep mine and I sure as hell have more to lose than what the does. You seriously can not be trying to explain his actions to me, because it's all just bullshit."

Sidney isn't really sure of what came out his mouth. Most of it just an explosion of rage inside him, making him lose control. Ryan's eyes get bigger, the corner's of his mouth twitching up ward slightly, like he doesn't know if he's supposed to smile or not.

"You're ... You're pregnant?" Ryan asks, breaking into a full grin.

Sidney blushes, defiant to his urge to bang his own head on the wall. "Oh uh." Well, there's no way out of this one, "Yeah. Well, it hasn't been proven yet, but they're pretty sure."

Ryan chuckles, "Why did you play? Now I feel bad about checking you. Damn."

"You should anyways! That shit really hurts, you know." Sidney says.

Malone gives him a look, "I'm just so surprised that I didn't know you were ga-"

"Stop trying to spiral the subject away from you."

"Well, congratulations." Ryan sighs, "And I have my life under control."

Sid rolls his eyes, "Yeah, getting arrested for a DUI and cocaine possession is most definitely handling it."

"It wasn't mine." Malone mumbles.

And there's the slap. The sound of Sidney's palm striking Ryan's face an echo in his quiet house.

"It doesn't fucking matter if it was yours! You were drinking -while- driving. Your lucky you didn't kill anyone!" Sidney points out, "Not to mention the drugs were in your car, so it makes it yours."

Ryan cups the cheek he was hit on, looking at his lap, "I know about the drinking part. But I don't do or sell cocaine Sidney. I love hockey, honestly. I wouldn't do something so reckless and stupid, like doing drugs."

"Well, you are reckless and stupid for getting involved with Tyler." Sidney says.

Malone looks up, tears in his eyes, and lets his hand drop, "I wanted to marry him. Raise that baby in a happy, healthy home. One where we'll love our child as much as we love each other."

Sidney's heart cracks seeing him like that. All his anger leaving him. The Canadian pulls his friend in for a hug, letting Ryan cry on his shoulder. (Though Ryan will never admit it happened.)

"It's not .. n-not fair." Ryan mumbles.

Sidney squeezes him tighter, "I know. I know."

After a trice, Malone pulls back. Wiping his eyes and sniffling, "Can you not tell anyone about this?"

Sid half smiles, "The way I see it, if I tell anyone about this you get to blab about my .. situation."

Ryan smirks, "Yeah. And my crying won't last nine months and eighteen years."

Sidney narrows his eyes, trying to hide his mini panic. It hasn't really occurred to him that he'd not only have to try and hide the baby bump and the birthing of his child. But he'd also have to raise the kid, and he can't hide it for eighteen years.

Of course, that's only if he actually is going to have one.

"Squid, you alright?" Ryan asks.

Sidney nods, "Yeah I'm fine."

Malone checks the time on his phone, "Hey, it's pretty late. Um, do you want to crash here? I'd feel like an ass if I just let you drive back to the hotel at this hour." He frowns, "I'd suggest coming with you but-"

Sidney puts up a hand. "I understand. Just, uh. Do you have anything I can wear?"

Ryan smirks, "I do, but they won't cover up that ass."

Sid giggles, pushing past Ryan to go upstairs, "You know you like it."

Malone makes a noise of approval, feet thudding loudly against the wood of the stairs as he tried to keep up with the young Canadian.

At the top of the steps, Ryan grabs Sidney's hips. Making his former teammate freeze.  
"You probably don't want to go in there." Malone explains.

"Rude." Sidney snorts, watching the hasty way Ryan goes into his room and shuts the door behind him.

Sighing loudly (then feeling embarrassed, which is stupid because no one is there to hear him), he leans against the wall. Ryan comes back out, a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt in his hands.

"It's my uh, old Pens shirt. I figured it was the only thing you'd actually wear." Malone explains, "These are just some sweatpants that I don't really wear because they're too big. But hey, you can use them as maternity pants."

Sidney laughs half heartedly. "Fuck you."

"When and where? I'll be there." Ryan winks, handing Sid the clothes.

Sidney blushes, looking at the ground, "How has that charming humor not landed you a girlfriend yet?"

Malone laughs softly, "I'd ask you the same, but I doubt women like their men having bigger asses than they do."

Sid looks up sternly, "Why the hell do you people keep talking about my ass for?"

Ryan raises an eyebrow, "That's our way of letting God know we appreciate his gift."

Rolling his eyes, Sidney walks to the guest room, "You're an idiot."

The young Canadian shuts the door behind him as his former teammate's honking laugh starts. He can't help but smile. Ryan was one of the only six people on the team he ever truly gotten long with.

The first was (obviously) Colby. Next came Malone, Max, Jordy, Tomas, and then Geno. (In that order.) Well, it would be seven, but Mario technically doesn't play anymore ...

Sidney still remembers that bitter taste in his mouth when Ryan was traded, then Colby, Max (to the Flyers? Really?). He recalls how heart broken he was when Jordy left. Leaving his with Geno and Tomas. He tried making friends, he did! But he only got to know Rob, and it's pretty obvious how "well" that went.

Now, after losing Vokoun and Scuderi, he'd given anything to have Jordan and Malone back. Even if for just one season. Just to play with them again, one more time. It would make him appreciate things like friendship more.

Of course, anyone would want to play with the Penguins with the roll they're on.

Sighing to himself, he pulls on the sweat pants. They're (surprisingly) really soft and cushiony. The white material feels so good on his skin.

Throwing his shirt on the pile with his pants, he looks over the shirt. Number 12, Pittsburgh Penguins, Alternate Captain Malone. What he wouldn't give to see that again, as a real jersey.  
Silently opening the door, he crosses the mini hallway and knocks on Ryan's door.

"Hm?" Ryan ask.

Sidney smiles, "I miss you."

Malone nods, biting his lip, "Yeah, I miss you too."

"We need to talk about it." Sidney says.

"Sidney I don't think we need to talk about it." Ryan speaks softly.

"Yes we do." Sidney protests, "It's been five years and we still haven't talked about it. So we need to."

Malone sighs, "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for wanting Maxime, Jordan, Marc, you. Is that what you want me to say?"

"No it's just ... I never got the chance to apologize, properly. For not saying anything then, " Sidney licks his lips, "When you came out to the team, about your ... crushes. I really should've said something." He sighs, "I don't care that you liked me then, and I certainly don't give a shit now. I highly doubt any of them really did either, except Flower. But you know they were .. shocked."

Ryan raises his eyebrows, "Oh? I uh .. I forgive you. I really do."

"I should've spoken to you sooner, like the day you got traded. But I just ... never did. I'm sorry." Sidney apologizes.

Malone smirks, "All is forgiven Squid. Stop worrying, we can't have wrinkles fucking up that beautiful face."

Sid rolls his eyes, "Okay. Goodnight Ryan."

"Night Squid, " Ryan returns, ruffling Sidney's hair.

He doesn't know of it's his (supposed) overactive hormones, or his emotions were just running rampade on him tonight, but he stretches up. Placing a kiss on Ryan's cheek.

"Thanks for letting me spend the night." Sidney says, "You can stay at my place when you come to Pittsburgh."

Malone grins, "I'd love to. Help you set up a nursery while I'm there."

"I'd like that." Sid turns around, "See you in the morning."

"Hey uh," Ryan says, placing a hand on the Canadian's shoulder, "You can uh, sleep in my bed. Uh, you know, with me. If you want." Sidney turns around, "Because I mean, that bed probably isn't to comfortable or anything. I'd hate for you to uh, get a back ache. Or, or something."  
Sidney rolls his eyes, pushing last Malone to get into the bedroom, "You're such a dork."  
Ryan scoffs, flopping down on his bed, "Can you get the light?"

Sidney does as he's asked, shutting off the light before laying down at the opposite side of the bed.

"It's lke we're back on the road." Malone whispers.

Sid turns around, flicking his former teammate in the ear, "Stop talking and go to sleep."  
"Goodnight Sidney."

"Goodnight Ryan."

~

Sometime during the night, they gravitated toward each other. Because when Sidney wakes up the next morning, a hard hit of nausea, he has to pry Ryan off him and run to the bathroom.  
He feels Malone's hand rubbing on his back half way through. The older man mumbles soft, half asleep words of encouragement.

When Sid gets down, he goes straight for the sink, washing out his mouth furiously.

"Squid, I'm going to make some coffee .. and food." Ryan says, stumbling out of the bathroom.  
Sidney pants heavily, looking at his reflection in the mirror. His face is pale, eyes a little swollen, lips pink and chapped.

In other words, he looks like shit.

Climbing down the stairs, he spots Ryan, fiddling with his phone at the kitchen table.  
Malone looks up, "So, are you gonna tell the other father?"

Sidney freezes at the bottom step. It's obvious he'd have to tell Alex, it is (or would be) his kid, after all. "I uh ... I haven't decided yet." Sighing, he trudges over to the kitchen table.

Ryan hands him a filled coffee cup, "Out of curiousity, who is this mystery man?"

"It doesn't matter." Sidney says, taking a small sip of the dark liquid before setting it down in disgust, "Still taste like shit."

Malone rolls his eyes, "It does matter."

Sid sighs, "Obviously it does. But .. I can't tell you."

"Why, is he Russian?" Ryan inquires.

"I'm not answering that."

Malone looks at him sternly, "Malkin?"

"Oh my god. No, no, no, no. I most certainly -did not- have sex with Geno. No." Sid replies hastily.

"Okay. One word would've justified the situation." Ryan chews his lip, "Bryzgalov?"

"No."

"Gonchar?"

"No. He's like, married."

"Pavel?"

"No!"

"Semin?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Kulikov?"

"Do you know every Russian in the NHL?"

"Nikita?"

"No. Stop asking." Sid says, squinting his eyes at Ryan.

Malone chuckles at his attempt to be threatening. "Okay, last one. Ovechkin?"

Sidney's eyes pop open, surprise catching him off guard. He recovers, narrowing his eyes again, "No." He grits out.

"It is. Wow Sid. Way to go." Ryan teases.

"Fuck you. No it's not." Sidney objects.

"Yes it is." Malone argues.

"No, it's not."

"Sid, it so is."

Sidney throws his hands in the air, "Why do I even bother talking to you?"

"Because you love me." Ryan responds, grinning proudly.

Sid rolls his eyes, jogging to the downstairs bathroom as the second wave of vomit comes at him.

This time, it's not as long and he doesn't feel nearly as yucky.

When he comes back out, Ryan is talking on his phone.

"Here he is, sorry about the wait." Malone says, handing Sid the phone, mouthing the name 'Alex'.

"Hello." Sidney says.

"Hey, we leave for plane in hour. Need me come get you?" Alex asks.

"Uh, that would be nice." Sidney can't stop the grin breaking out on his face, "Thank you."

"You welcome." Ovechkin hangs up quickly.

Sighing, Sid sends a quick message of Malone's address and how to get there.

"What did your baby daddy say?" Ryan asks, looking amused.

Sidney's mouth gapes over, "What ... Why .. I ... Why would you call him that?"

Malone smiles, "Isn't he?"

Sid frowns, "Whatever. He's coming to pick me up."

"Oh my god! I get to see the lovely couple together." Ryan squeals.

"Actually we're uh .. Not together." Sidney explains, "And he um, doesn't know. No one on the team does."

Malone raises an eyebrow, "You didn't tell Mario?"

"Well uh. No, I haven't. Because I uh, well. I didn't want to say anything in case I actually wasn't. You know." Sid says awkwardly, "So could you just uh, like, you know. Not .. say anything?"

"Are you kidding me?" Ryan asks, "You were grilling me just last night on getting my shit together and taking responsibility for my actions. Yet here you are, Mr. Hypocrite. Didn't even tell your own father." He shakes his head, "Disappointed Sidney. I expected better of you."

"First of all, Mario is -not- my father." Sid protests, "And secondly, our situations are -so- different. You see, I'm going to keep this baby. No matter what it does to my career."  
Malone bites his bottom lip, thinking over his next words. "Are you sure that he .. wants to keep it?"

"Why wouldn't he?" Sidney questions.

"Sidney you know how people over in Russia feel about this." Ryan points out.

Sidney looks at the ground, "I know."

He feels a hand on his shoulder, but doesn't look up. Allowing the older man just to let it drop.  
"Um, I'm going to go make some breakfast." Ryan mumbles.

Sidney waits for the shuffling of the other man's feet to stop before letting the first tear slide.  
What if Alex doesn't want the baby? Doesn't want to be a part of it's life? He can't do this by himself.

Why does he keep talking to himself like he is actually pregnant? It hasn't been proven, Chris has yet to tell him the results.

Is it because he wants this so bad? To have kids of his own, just like he wanted? To show his own flesh and blood how to be a hockey star, tell them what their dad -- dads -- did for the world, for the sport of hockey. To teach them hockey, or whatever sport they're interested in.  
Yeah, he wants that. But he wants to have it with Alex there.

Wipping his face free of moisture that escaped his eyes, he joins Ryan in the kitchen. Watching the skillfull way he makes scrambled eggs.

And they're really fucking good.

"Oh my motherfucking god. These are amazing." Sidney says after gulping down half of the plate, "How did you make these? I must know your secrets.

Ryan chuckles, "I can't tell you! Then I'd be worth nothing."

Sid narrows his eyes, "Whatever. You're so mean."

Sidney scarfs down the rest of his food, washing the plate of in the sink.

"You might want to go make yourself beautiful. You're future husband is outside." Ryan says, putting his plate in the sink.

Sidney stretches up, looking out the kitchen window to confirm that, yes. Alex is standing in front of his own car, looking at his phone.

Drying off his hands quickly, Sidney rushes for his bag that was left by the door, bound the stairs, and goes into Ryan's bedroom.

He changes promptly, putting on a black shirt that grips his body tightly (why does he even have this? why did he even bring it? why does he keep wearing black?) and a normal pair of jeans (which, in this case, means practically skinny jeans. seriously, what was he thinking when he packed this?) with black Vans (okay, he is going shopping this weekend and is going to stay away from anything black).

Checking himself in the mirror as he brushes his hair. Sidney knows, he looks horrible. His face pale and cheeks flushed. His eyes show how tired he is. His lip has a mark on it from where he bit himself after throwing up (Ew).

Still, as he carefully walks down the steps, both Alex and Ryan stop their hushed conversation to gawk at him.

Sidney's cheeks redden as he tries to look down, only to peer up slightly to look at Alex. The Russian's mouth opens and closes a few times, unsure of what to say.

"Uh well. I wouldn't want you to miss your flight. So I'll see you tomorrow." Ryan speaks up.  
Sidney looks at Malone, pulling up a gracious smile, "Thanks Ryan for letting me spend the night."

Malone pulls him in for a hug, "You're always welcome here."

Sid frees himself, taking a step back, "I'll see you tomorrow. And I was being serious about you hanging around at my place after the game."

Ryan shakes his head, "No I'm good. You probably have some more important things to take care of. Like, your pride after you lose."

"Really? I think you need a replay of what happened last night." Sidney teases back.

Malone squeezes his shoulder, "Whatever. Now get out of here, I'm tired of seeing your face."  
Sid looks up at Alex, "Sure you're capable of driving?"

Ovechkin licks his lips, "Yes." He answers plainly, walking out the door.

Ryan throws him a confused look, which Sidney gives back an apologetic one before following the Russian.

Neither of them speaking as Alex holds open the passenger door of his rental car. Sidney stepping in with nothing but a small smile, watching Ovechkin get on the other side and focus his attention on the road.

About half way to the airport, Sid becomes fed up with the silence and can't hold his tongue.  
"Alex, what's wrong?"

Alex doesn't even look his way, "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. You've barely said a word to me since yesterday." Sidney points out. "So, what's up."

"Nothing up Sidney. Is fine." Alex mumbles.

Sid frowns, Alex rarely ever calls him by his full name.

Only when he's really upset.

"Okay, Alex. I can tell that something is wrong, and -"

"No want talk about it." Ovechkin interrupts.

Sidney shuts his mouth (literally), trying to copy the Russian and stare at the road. Either his attention spand has diminished, or the road is making him act weird, he can't stop glancing at Alex.

The way his hair is so straight, shorter than the last time Sidney saw it. His eyes, those perfect blue things of mystery, hard, and so angry. His shoulders tense, back straight. Alex's mouth is kept in a tight line, occasionally sticking his tongue out to wet his lips.

Sidney wasn't aware he'd been caught staring until they stopped in the parking lot of the airport and Ovechkin turned to him.

"You have problem? Been staring whole time." Alex's voice is harsh and cold.

Sidney turns so he's facing the older man, opening his mouth to speak. His eyes start to tear up, throat swelling. The Canadian turns the open the door, nodding wordlessly as he opens it and gets out.

Apparently the whole team decided they wanted to make sure their captain was okay by waiting for him outside the plane.

"Sid!" Geno is the first to greet him, arms extended.

Sidney forces a smile, quickly dropping it as he gets his bag from the back.

"Hey Squid. You alright?" Colby asks.

"Yeah, I missed my roomie last night." Flower says.

Sidney pushes past them all, keeping his head down and practically begging the water not to slide down his cheeks. The last thing he wants is to try and explain why he's so upset considering he himself doesn't even know.

"Sorry, won't happen again." Sidney mumbles to Marc.

Max grabs his shoulders, "You okay man?"

Sid nods, "Can we just .. get on the plane? I just ant to get out of here."

Talbot frowns, letting his captain go and stepping out of the way. Giving a small nod, Sidney pushes his duffel as high up on his shoulder as it will go, and ascend the miniature staircase.  
Feeling like he's on autopilot, he sits in the third row, second seat. Leaving the window for Flower and the other for ... for ... whoever wants to sit there.

After the "conversation" he just had with Ovechkin, he highly doubts the Russian would want to sit beside him, even though he really should because that would just mess up the balance of the universe, his universe.

When Flower slides in next to him, he squeezes his captain's shoulder.

"You sick or something?" Marc asks.

Sidney shakes his. The cough that escapes him probably doesn't help his case (or maybe it does).

"Okay, well. I'm right here if you need to talk." Flower says before plugging in his earbuds and putting all his attention into his phone.

Sidney almost has a mini panic attack when he smells Alex's cologne, the feeling of skin accidentally brushing against his arm. Reluctantly he pulls back, look through the corner of his eye to see if maybe he did want to talk.

He did want to talk. But, it was to Geno, in Russian. (duh. how did he not see that coming? Geno always sits in front of him or beside him.)

Trying not to sigh aloud, he pulls out his phone and checks to make sure the only part of his life he's gotten used to is still fucked up.

He has one miss call and fifteen texts from Taylor. All just her telling him about SSM (well the call is five minutes long while the texts are short and sweet.)

He does have a call from Shattuck's reminding him that there's a game that he 'cant miss for the world!'.

The next five calls are from his mother. The desperation in her voice cracks his heart as she asks for even more money to pay for bills and groceries. As if the five thousand dollars he left last time wasn't enough to keep them stable.

As he's scrolling through his email, looking for things that are actually worth reading, he gets a text from Ryan.

'Hey! You should name it after the sexiest guy you know.'  
Sidney can't help but smile, 'Why would I name it James? That would just be weird.'  
The next reply comes in a minute later, 'James? No I meant Mario silly!'  
Sid tries to stop the laugh that comes out, but it does escape like one of those awkward chuckles that teenagers use while trying to talk in a silent classroom, 'OMG! Why didn't I think of that?!'  
'Does he know yet?'  
Sid rolls his eyes, 'I'm still on the plane idiot. Plus I haven't even talked to Chris yet. Calm yourself!'  
'Whatever. Call me the moment you do! I want details!'  
'Goodbye Ryan'  
'Bye Squid! :))))))))))))'

What is the point of having that many mouths for one smiley face? Sidney will never understand the logic of Americans.

"Does Sid have a girlfriend?" Flower asks, lightly elbowing his captain's side.

Sidney locks the screen quickly, "No."

Marc smirks, "Really? Then who you talking to?"

"Ryan." Sid responds, stretching out the syllables.

Flower raises his eyebrows, "Malone?"

"Is there another Ryan I should know about?" Sidney asks.

"Well uh. No. I'm just surprised that you would after he had sex with Max." Marc whispers  
.  
"Why would I? What happened that night wasn't his fault nor is it his fault that he's gay." Sidney snaps.

Flower puts up his hands, returning to his own phone, "Sorry. Didn't mean to like, piss you off or whatever."

Sighing he stares at the black screen. He feels a pair of eyes shift onto him. Being cautious, Sidney peers up at Alex, the Russian redirects his glare to the front instantly.

Sid closes his eyes. Damn, he might as well sleep if everyone is going to be rude.

~

Okay. Sleeping probably wasn't his -best- idea. Especially since he ends up being curled into an awkward ball, with his head on Alex's shoulder.

"Hm?" He says unintelligently when his arm is gently shaken awake.

"Plane landed. Time to leave." Ovechkin explains.

Sidney grunts, uncurls himself, and stretches. He glances around to find that Flower -- along with half the plane -- had already left.

Alex stands in the aisle watching Sidney, his eyes dark with lust. The Canadian colors, stepping out in front of the other man.

He stands on his tip-toes, stretching up to reach his bag, but fails. (seriously, why did he put it in the back?)

Landing on his feet with a grunt, he tries again.

A rough hand lands on a piece of his exposed skin. Causing Sidney to freeze and look up.  
"I get it." Alex says.

Not even stretching, just extending his arms slightly, the Russian pulls out Sidney's bag and hands it to him.

Sidney smiles, "Uh thank you."

Alex looks down at him. Lips parted slightly, eyes bright and confused. His brown hair ruffled slightly, like he'd been sleeping himself.

Sidney doesn't know what makes him want to curl his hand around Alex's neck and bringing him down for a kiss. (hormones, lets use that). But it's killing him, he wants to do it so bad. He almost caves, going as far as wrapping his hand around the other man's neck, before someone clears their throat.

"Team waiting for you." Geno says from the open door.

Ovechkin gentles pushes Sidney off, walking quickly to the other Russian, keeping his head down.

Sighing, Sidney tries to do the same, but Malkin grabs by the shoulder.

"We talk." Geno hisses, nearly shoving Sidney outside.

-Rude-, Sidney thinks, staring at the ground as he walks.

Honestly, he really wants to be left alone. But (as always) that doesn't happen.

"There you are Sleeping Beauty!" Flower teases.

"We thought you weren't ever going to come!" Tanger says.

James jumps Paulie from behind, hugging his shoulders, "We thought that we were gonna have to call Mario and make him wake you up."

"Instead we had big Ovie do it. So if you bitched slapped him, then you'd get him to go all Russian on your ass." Paulie says, struggling from underneath the weight of his teammate.  
Apparently, Alex's ignoring-Sidney-mode is only done when they're in private, because he hugs his captain, stroking his hair.

"No listen to them. I never do that to you." Alex says loud enough for everyone to hear.  
Sidney melts, leaning into the warm body against him.

When the older Russian is pulled off his captain, the younger one grabs Sid's shoulders.  
"Sid and I go rink together. See you later." Geno says, quickly leaving before and anyone can object.

Feeling a little more than panicked, Sidney tries to keep up with the pace he's being forced to walk at, being shoved through all the airport lines and into a taxi.

Geno doesn't say anything, just gives directions to the driver, paying him once they're at the Consol. He stays quiet until they get to the locker room.

Malkin shoves Sidney, "What the fuck wrong with you? Why you so cruel to Sanja?"

"If this is about what happened on the plane-"

"Not just that. This about all times you make Sanja think you want him, then you leave with no words." Geno hisses, "It not fair Sid."

Sidney opens his mouth to speak, but Geno's death glare suggests he better not.

"Why you break his heart Sid, huh? Because he fooled with Nicky? You no just end with someone because they have goodbye sex with old friend." Geno snaps. "Now you ignore him constantly! Sanja try talk to you, offer you ride in hope that you start being friend. Nothing!"

"Well it's not like he was doing any better! He's always ignoring me whenever we're alone, but he's all over me when people are around." Sidney points out,

Malkin throws his hands in the air, "He try to make it normal around teammates so they no think something wrong. He waiting for you to talk to him. Want you to very bad. Like you as friend before feeling came up, so he still want one."

"Okay. Well since you're being message boy and all, then you tell him that if he wants to talk to me, then he can confront me himself." Sidney retorts.

Geno gets in the smaller man's face. "You no get it, do you? He try not to push you, pressure you into doing what you no want. Try to fix what he mess up first time."

Sid opens his mouth to say something back (what he doesn't know, everything he's said so far has been a spur of the moment type thing). But his stomach twists painfully and bile rises in his throat. Covering his mouth, he runs to the nearest trash can (which is about five feet behind him) and hurls.

Geno puts his hand on his captain's back, muttering smooth Russian sentences.  
When Sidney gets done, he wipes his mouth, coughing vigorously. Malkin doesn't say anything, just watching him in silent confusion.

"There you are Mr. Crosby." Chris says, squeezing his shoulder.

Sidney finishes coughing, "Can I wash out my mouth while we do this?"

The physician nods, grabbing Sid's arm to direct him to their destination, "Yeah, we can do that in my office."

Geno grabs his other arm, "We not done."

Sidney nods, the Russian letting go and allowing the doctor to take the young Canadian to his office.

"None of my business, so I'm not even going to ask." Chris says, closing the door to his workstation. "Sink is right there, go ahead and wash out your mouth while I get the results."

Sid's hands tremble as he turns on the faucet, cupping his hands to collect some water, putting as much as he can in his mouth and rubs the rest of it on his face.

As he swirls the liquid in his mouth, spitting it back into the sink, he contemplates what this will do to him, his career. If Alex would want to go through with it, be a part of their (potential) child's life. What Sidney would do if he didn't.

Chris pats his back, "Better now Sidney?"

Sid nods, turning around to sit on the patient's table.

Harner's mouth forms a straight line, "As I had previously assumed, your tests came back positive. Still, I'm going to give you a home pregnancy test that I highly suggest you take as soon as possible."

"How .. How far along?" Sidney questions, eyes starting to water.

"We won't know that until you have a ultrasound." Chris replies. "But um, you can have this," He hands Sidney his tests results, "I'll call Mario and tell him that you need to talk to him privately. But I'll let you handle the rest."

"Can ... I play?" Sidney chokes out as his trachea feels like it's swelling.

The physician bites his lip, "I'm not going to make the final decision or anything. That's up to you, Mario, and Bylsma. Personally, I am going to advise against it."

Sid looks at the ground, "Well uh. Thanks Chris."

"So do you want to do the pregnancy test now or wait until later?" Harner asks.

The Canadian sighs, "Might as well get it over with, eh?"

In silent agreement, the physician walks away from his patient, returning with a pink box in hand.

"Just um, go into the bathroom. Pee on the stick, wait five minutes. A plus is positive and a minus is negative." Chris says awkwardly.

Ending the horrible encounter, Sidney takes the box and trudges down the hall.

Glancing around, he doesn't find anyone in the locker room (Geno probably went out onto the ice). He makes a hurried escape, (which is foolish because there's no one there) locking the door of the restroom behind him before doing what the physician instructed him to do.

After he's done, Sidney grips the sink. Staring at his pale complexion. All he can think about is Alex, if Alex wants this. Geno said something about feelings or whatever, but someone like him, someone with everything to lose, couldn't do this. He could never go back to Russia if he was the father of another man's baby. His country would never accept him, not to mention what his family would think.

As much as Sidney would rather just not tell him. He has to tell the team, Alex is part of the team. Obviously he would know that the only person the Canadian had sex with recently was him. So it's not like he wouldn't know. Sidney would tell him after he told Mario, but it would be in private, so they could alone.

The next five minutes feel like an eternity. Pacing the small room, staring everywhere from the tiled floor to the beige ceiling. Trying not to think, trying not to wonder when they didn't use a condom. Yelling at himself when his mind kept wandering to the subject.

When a pink digital plus sign showed up on the miniature screen, Sidney couldn't move.   
Standing there, completely frozen. Of course, he should've expected this to happen. But there was a chance that Chris's tests could've been wrong, though the physician never said it aloud. Now, with everything drawing up the same conclusion, Sidney doesn't know what to do.  
He's such an idiot. For being so careless, so reckless. He never should've went out that night. Max offered to watch a movie together. A little boy's night in before the gold medal game.

But no, he just had to go out. 'Have some fun' as his teammates would say.

Yeah, who's having fun now?

With trembling hands he tears up the box, putting the stick inside the wreckage and squishing it in the trash can.

Running a hand through his already messy hair, he realized this isn't just his problem. It's Mario's, his family's, the team's issue. Most importantly, it's Alex's problem.

Telling Ovechkin will be a burden. Anti-gay laws in Russia seemed to have piled up over the summer. It was bad when they went to Sochi (Sidney knows, he did a press conference about it), but it's just doubled since then.

Homosexuality is like forbidden there, surely you can imagine how they feel about intergender pregnancies.

Sighing, Sidney pushes open the restroom door, slowly putting on his gear.  
As he pulls on his practice jersey, guess who walks in ...

Colby! You know. The best friend who he never talks to anymore, let alone thinks about.

"Hey Squid. Everything cool between you and Malkamania?" Army asks.

Sid slightly smiles, "Yeah, everything is fine."

Colby nods as if he expected that, "Everything is okay between us too, right?"  
Sidney frowns, "I know we haven't been hanging out like we used to. I've just been so .. busy, I guess. But .. you're still my best friend and that hasn't changed."

Army smirks, "I figured so. I just ... you know .. wanted to make sure."

"Maybe we can catch up tomorrow night?" The younger man suggests.

Armstrong ruffles Sid's hair, "Sure."

"Stop chit chatting and get your asses on the ice." Dan interrupts.

Colby raises his eyebrows before walking a few spaces down to his locker to change.

Sidney gives a smug look, "Get a move on, -old man-."

The captain turns his back on his friend, but he hears the grunt and he can picture the middle finger being flicked at him.

Grabbing his lucky stick, he heads out to the ice just as Coach directed him to.

As he suspected, Geno is already out there. But he didn't expect him and Alex to be huddled close together, deep in conversation.

Trying not to interrupt them, Sidney silently takes a puck from the bag, practicing with himself on the wall.

He feels like he's back in Juniors. Being the loner kid who nobody wanted to play with because he never talked and people found it weird. He doesn't mind, he never did. He isn't going to start now because a couple of Russians don't want to speak with him.  
"Sid!" Geno calls.

Sidney jumps at the sound, quickly turning around, "Yeah?"

Malkin gestures for his captain to come down there, meeting him in the middle of the ice, "Why you practice by self when we here?"

Sidney colors from embarrasment, "Well you two were, um, talking. And it looked important. So I didn't want to like, intrude or something."

"Talk no important. Making captain best captain ever is." Ovechkin objects.

"We're not a team without a captain." James points out.

Geno does a quick fix of his hair, standing straighter. Nealer winks, blowing him a kiss. The Russian blushes bright, going back to fixing his already neat hair.

"Ewww!" Tanger says, using his child's voice, "Daddy! Lazy and Geno are banging." He buries his face in Flower's jersey.

"That's just nasty." Brooksie chirps, looking at them in disgust.

Geno's colors a dark red, "No we not! Hush!"

Paulie pokes the embaassed Russian with his stick, "You don't even act like this over those hot girls that hit on you at the bars, yet you do it over -James-? Really?"?

"Hey!" Nealer protests, playfully shoving his friend. "I'm way sexier than all those girls combined. Right G?"

Malkin covers his red face, Alex placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Now it's Sidney's turn to blush as Geno laughs his ass off. The few people around them mumble in agreement while James stands there. Hands on his hips like he's annoyed.  
"Geno and I are definitely -not- banging. Unlike some people, I don't sleep with teammates. It's totally wrong," James says sassily, crossing his arms over his torso, "Right, Sid-ney?"

Sidney turns toward the winger with a scowl, "Exactly right James. It -is- totally wrong."

As much as he hates to say it, Sidney doesn't like Nealer. He tried when the other man first got traded, but he's just so damn obnoxious. James is arrogant, cocky, and nosy. He's been gunning for Sid's captaincy since he showed up I 2010, always looking for a way to knock him down. When outplaying his captain was clearly not a possibility, Nealer started trying to ruin Sidney's character. Taking any and every oppurtunity to make Coach and Mario see why Crosby is unfit for the job.

Sleeping with a teammate is acceptable. Dating one is good as long as the break up (if there is one, but there generally isn't in their profession) doesn't break up team chemistry.

Getting impregnated by one that you broke up with for no real reason even though you obviously still have feelings for him is unforgivable. Especially since Sidney is the captain and Alex is the alternate and their team is nearly unstoppable.

The chance of James having a 'C' or an 'A' on his jersey is highly unlikely. At this point, it's just kicking Sidney 'off his throne' (quoted from Nealer at a previous discussion) that he worries about.

Sid might've helped him with his goal.

Way to fuck up Sidney!

"Okay ladies! You're all gorgeous, but you can't just stand there and look at each other. Move. Your. Asses!" Bylsma orders.

It's like his words turned on the energy switch. Fleury bolts over the other end of the ice to play goalie, while Zatkoff goes to the other one. Everyone pairs up, so Sidney joins Malkin and Ovechkin (he's actually forced to, but whatever) to practice some moves on Flower.

Everytime Geno gets it past the net, no matter how beautiful the shot actually is, Alex boos. Cupping his hands and yelling it in his friend's ear as the smaller Russian laughs hysterically.  
Whenever Alex scores himself, he just kinda raises his fist in the air for half a second before bringing it down and rubbing it in Malkin's face that he's winning and Geno is losing.

("No play hockey with three supid." Geno chirped.  
"No matter! You still loser." Alex teased back.)

Sidney has, surprisingly, yet to score. Either Flower is getting -really- good, or he's just play down right horrible.

After what feels like an eternity (which was probably like five minutes, ten at the most) Sid's puck hits the back of the net.

And Alex goes ape shit.

He raises both arms in the air, face splitting into a huge grin as he nearly tackles his captain in a hug.

Sidney is caught off guard, he doesn't really know what to do (that won't get him punched by Geno). He is especially lost when he feels his teammates joining in on the hug. The warmth of their bodies makes Sidney cough quietly, so he covers his face in the crook of Ovechkin's neck (not his smartest idea, what else was he supposed to do? die from suffocation?  
)  
"What are you guys doing -now-?" Dan asks, raising his voice as he speaks.

"We practice for Sid goal and prove he best captain ever!" Geno replies.

"Get back to work you sorry fucks." Bylsma orders, "Wouldn't want Mario to hear about you slacking off the day before a big game."

At Mario's name, Sidney pulls his face back. That's right, he has to talk to Lemeiux later today.   
Fantastic.

"Disperse! Wouldn't want Sid's dad to spank him, now would we?" Max says.

"Hey! He isn't my father nor does he spank me." Sidney objects.

Flower and Brooksie cough the word 'bullshit'. Tanger (as always) joins in, ''coughing'' so hard he doubles over saying it.

Sidney rolls his eyes. He knows his teammates mean well, always just trying to loosen him up and make him laugh. Of course, claiming he gets spanked by his pretend father isn't exactly funny nor helpful in anyway. Still, it's the thought that counts.

Going back to practice is a little difficult because every time he gets it in the net, someone makes a loud 'whoop' and hugs him. Especially Max (because he's a dick).

Whenever Talbot hugs him, it makes Sidney realize how simple things used to be, and how his life had changed so much in so little time.

Just wondering how the next eighteen years of his life will work out terrifies him. Some many things could go wrong, ruin his and his families' lives.

"You alright there Squid?" Colby asks, knocking Sid out of his frozen state.

"Oh .. oh yeah. I'm er, fine. I'm fine." Sidney says quickly.

Army pats his shoulder, "Sure you are."

The younger man gives a half hearted smile, "I am fine, I promise."

"You sure about that?" Neal questions, "Because you've been acting kind of weird lately. Not to mention the --"

"Maybe you should focus on fixing your game rather than trying to start shit with everyone else, eh?" Sid snaps.

James smirks, skating off. Paulie bumps shoulders with the winger, whispering something in his ear.

Sidney watches Geno out of the corner of his eyes. Malkin stares at James, his back straight and face firm.

Seriously though, if they are together, Sid would have to have a talk with the Russian about his choice in men.

Sidney, for the moment, stays away from everyone. Practicing with the wall and just trying to keep his mind from exploding by over thinking everything.

"I'm sure the wall doesn't make good company." Tanger says.

Sidney sighs, "It's better than James." He turns around to face the defenseman, "Is there something you wanted?"

"Actually there is," Kris lets out a shaky breath, "Um, I've already talked to management about this? And.. I just wanted to let you know first that um ... Flower and I are sleeping together and he wants to leave his wife for .. For me."

Sid wasnt't expecting that."Oh .. Oh, well um. I'm happy for you two."

"You're not mad?" Tanger asks.

"Of course not. Your life is your life and I'm not going to judge you," Sidney replies, "However, this is going to get a lot of publicity and I hope you know what you're doing."

Tanger smiles, "Thank you .. I know how you can be sometimes and I just .. Didn't want you to, like, flip shit, or something."

"Just, um. Be safe and be careful." Sid says, patting the tallee man's shoulder.

"You too. I'd like to see you finally meet that special someone." Tanger says before skating away.

Sidney glances around and finds Alex's gorgeous, smiling face within seconds.

"I already have." Sidney says to himself.

Sid's legs start to wobble at the knees. Sighing, he skates off the ice before anyone else. Its the third time he's left early and its really started to scare him.

What he wouldn't give to have a shoulder to lean on right now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains a minor character death.

Chapter 6:

Sidney goes over to Mario's at seven thirty after sleeping for an hour and trying to plan how dinner was going to go.

"Sid! Is everything okay?" Mario asks the moment he steps into the house.

"Yeah, yeah. I just, um ... Need to talk to you about something." Sid replies, nervously rubbing his hands together.

"Speak before I have a panic attack." Lemieux demands.

The younger man bites his lip, "Um, I'm .. I'm ..." He let's out a shaky breath. "pregnant."?

Mario's face goes through shock, confusion, and happiness before settling on frustration.

"Didn't you use protection?" He demands.

"Mario, I-"

"I don't want to hear excuses. I want -"

"That is no way to talk to him!" Nathalie interrupts, crossing her arms over he torso, "Right now I'm sure he's lost and scared and he needs a fucking father figure to help him out. God damnit Mario, you are the only real father he has. Cut the kid some slack and be there for him!"

Mario frowns, "I'm sorry Sidney," he sighs, "Just, please tell me you used protection."

"Of course." Sid replies.

Nathalie guides Sidney over the couch (because he apparently can't walk by himself). Offering him something to drink or eat at least fifty million times before her husband finally hushes her.

"Do you, um, know who the other father is?" Mario questions, obviously still very shocked.

"I do, but I'm, um, not sure if I should involve him or not." Sid responds honestly.

"Is it ... Is it Geno?" Lemieux asks, biting his lip.

"Oh my god, no. That is just .. No." Sidney says, rubbing his forehead.

Why do people always think its Geno? They're just friends! Jeez, people these days.

"Is it a teammate dear?" Nathalie asks, her voice soft and caring.

The Canadian sighs, "Yeah, but he wasn't when he first got together."

Mario's nose scrunches up, "Ovechkin? Really? Of all people you picked him?"

Nathalie flicks her husband in the back of the ear, "That's exactly what my father said about you."

Lemieux rolls his eyes, "I'm sorry, but you can do better."

Sidney looks down at his lap, "Maybe I don't want to do better."

Nathalie squeezes his shoulder, "Have you told him yet sweety?"

"No. And .. And I don't know if I can. I know that I should because he deserves to know. But we all know how the laws are over in Russia and I don't want to make him pick between me and his family." Sid replies.

"Well, if you love each other and stay together, I'm sure he'd want to be with you." Nathalie comforts him.

"We aren't .. Together anymore."

"Sidney, I am going to-"

"Mario!"

Lemieux takes a deep breath, "I don't know what's happened to you. You never went out and did anything. Let alone get pregnant from hooking up with a guy that you have no future with." He pauses, thinking over his words, "I'm not trying to hurt you or crush your dreams. But we all know that there is no happy ending for you and him. Either he helps you with the baby and you both come out, but he loses his family. Or he chooses his family and you do this off the support we'll offer you and deal with seeing the father of your baby every single day as he or she grows up."

Sidney doesn't know what to say. He just stares blankly at the floor, keeping back his tears and chewing on his lip.

Nathalie grabs his hand, "I know this is going to be hard for you. Remember, we'll always be here for you."

All his life, people have told him what to do. Once he did what they said, they criticized him for it.

He doesn't want to be pushes around any more. No, he wants to do what he chooses to do.  
Sidney stands up, "Thank you, but I think I should do this on my own."

The married couple follow suit. "Sidney-" Nathalie begins to say before Sid shakes his head.

"I'm old enough. I should start doing things on my own decisions." He objects.

Lemieux puts a hand on his shoulder, "I admire that, but no one should have to go through this alone. Sidney, you need help."

"Sidney!" Alexa says, pulling into a tight hug. She's twenty now, but she loves him like she was still nine. "You're staying for dinne, right?"

"Of course he is," Mario answers for him, "He's family and it's family dinner night."

Lauren and Stephanie moved out a while ago. Each graduating from college and starting their careers. Austin started attending Alabama a year ago. He had trouble graduating high school because he failed a few courses in eleventh grade that he never made up during his senior year, so he went back just to finish them and graduated at nineteen. He didn't start going to Alabama for another year because he was "exploring his options".

Alexa had began her college life two years ago. Only she decided to go to Pitt. Since their house isn't that far from the school, she just decided to stay at home until she graduates.

When Sidney first started staying here, he never thought about having kids of his own. Now when he thinks about it, he'd give anything to be as happy as they are.

"Come on, I've been cooking this pot roast for hours." Nathalie says, pulling Sid into the kitchen.

"For once you won't have to reheat it." Mario points out, patting his shoulder.

Sidney smiles. If only he could be half the man Mario is.

~

The next day, Flower's divorce is big news because athletes apparently don't get divorced.

"I'm in love with somebody else." Marc says for the fiftieth time as he tries to avoid the herd of reporters.

"Who is it?"  
"Is it somebody famous?"  
"Did you get the other woman pregnant?"  
"Is it even a woman?"

The last question sparks a new interest in the swarm of assholes that surround the goalie. Their words are so fast and smushed together that Marc doesn't have time to answer, let alone understand.

"Is it a teammate?"

At this point, Tanger gets fed up. Pushing the press out of the way in order to grab his lover's hand, "Look, Marc is going through a very hard time right now. He loves Veronique, but they were never soul mates. He's just trying to be happy and be with someone he is going to spend the rest of his life with. So leave my man alone." He pulls the goalie away so quickly into the locker room that the press can't keep up. To make up for a lost story, they attack the next person they see.

Of course, its Sidney.

"How do you feel about their relationship?"  
"Are you bothered by their homosexuality?"  
"What are your thoughts on the divorce?"

"Look, I already told Tanger and Flower how I feel. I'm very happy for them and I know they'll last." Sidney replies, trying to get past all the bodies and flashing cameras.

"Are you in a relationship yourself?"  
"Is it with a teammate?"

There are a bunch of other questions, but Sidney doesn't respond. Slightly due to the fact that the questions are coming at him so fast, but mostly because he can feel a second wave of morning sickness getting ready to spill out.

"All flashy cameras give someone seizure, might want to stop." Alex says.

Ovechkin puts a hand on the small of his captain's back, guiding him into the locker room. The moment the door closes behind them, Sidney hurls into the trash can. The Russian gently rubs his back, murmuring kind sounding things in his home language.

After Sid's done he wipes his mouth, "I'm sorry about that."

"You sick?" Alex asks, grabbing him by the shoulders.

The only thing Sidney wants to do right now is kiss the other man (despite the disgusting taste of his mouth). Tell him how sorry he is about everything.

"No, its much worse." Sidney says, "Maybe we can talk it over some time."

Ovechkin's brows knit together, "Can we no talk about it now?"

Sid looks around. The only other people here are Tanger and Flower, who are huddled together an paying no attention to them, and Chad the janitor.

"We should do it somewhere more private so we can .. Discuss things." Sidney replies.

The Russian is still confused, he nods anyways. Releasing his captain to go to restroom in order to clean out his mouth.

The Canadian stares in the mirror at himself. His face is paler than normal and bags are starting to form underneath his eyes despite his constant sleeping. His hair is sloppy and his lips are chapped.

Not only does he look like shit, he feels like shit.

Sidney has gotten lazier. He never wants to get out of bed in the morning. Once he does, he wants to climb right back under the covers and hide from the world.

He's wishes for a family of his own since he 2010. Now he can finally have one. Yet its taking such a toll on him, both mentally and physically.

This isn't how it was supposed to go. No. Sidney planned to find a nice guy, move back to Canada after he retires so they can get married and have kids. Then he'd be forty something and no one would care about what an old hockey player who was never that populate to begin with was doing.

He's only twenty seven and he was playing the best game of his career before he started slowing down.

Not to mention how this was going to effect Alex. The guy loves kids as much as Sidney, but he loves his family more.

Mario's words from last night ring through his ears. Sid couldn't stand seeing Ovechkin every single damn day of his career while their child grows up with one parent who's so miserable and lonely and doesn't even know what to do with himself.

But he told the Lemieuxs last night that he's old enough to do it himself and he doesn't need them. If Alex can't be there, which Sid will never force him to if he doesn't want nor will be hold a grudge, then he'll it alone.

He'll definitely be depressed at first because his children were supposed to have a better childhood than he did.

Having at least one father who is a bit upset but loves you and will always be there for you is a lot better than having a mom and a dad who you take care of but don't really give a shit about you.

Sid's legs wobble as he skates during practice. Mario decided to stop by and see their progress, which is code for see how my pregnant son is doing. (The answer to that would be shitty, but everyone can see that.)

"Are you alright?" James asks, his voice filled with genuine concern (yes, James Neal. The guys who hates his guts is actually worried about him.)

"Perfect." Sidney grits through his teeth.

His teammates send him glances throughout practice. Sidney feels bad because he wants to tell them. But he can't yet. He still wants to play.

Even if it kills him.

~

The next night they play Tampa Bay. Ryan had been scratched for the game because he had some "personal matter" to attend to.

Why does Sidney get the feeling that his problem's name starts with Tyler and ends with Seguin?

After they beat them two none, Sid texts Malone. Telling him briefly about his dinner with the Lemieux's and almost throwing up all over the press.

'Damn I would've killed to see that' Ryan texts back.

'How about I puke all over you the next time you try to ruin your career over some punk kid?'

Malone doesn't respond for another hour. Which scares Sidney. But nothing would prepare him for what he said.

'Tyler killed himself'


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be a little weird. And I'm sorry about that. I was trying to make Sidney have mood swings, but I think I went a little overboard.  
> Anyways. For anyone who ships Sid/Geno, go check out PanicsOnTheHorizon. She's a new user on the site and very talented.

Chapter 7:

Sidney tries frantically to text him back. His hands shaking so much that his phone nearly slips out of his hands.

After the fifth attempt, Sid gives up and calls.

Ryan never answers any of his calls for the next month. Sidney gets snappier and ruder with anyone who talks to him. Except Alex, who seems to be his only safe point.

Two weeks later, Malone finally calls him at three in the morning.

"Hey, sorry I didn't answer your calls." Ryan apologizes the moment he answers.

"No I'm .. I'm so sorry, about everything." Sidney apologizes, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

"You were right Sid," Malone's voice is hoarse, "I never should've gotten involved with him. It was wrong and stupid and -"

"No it wasn't Ryan. You loved him!" Sid interrupts, "I only said those things because ... I hadn't realized what he meant to you and what you, hopefully, meant to him."

Ryan sniffles and Sid can picture him crying and it breaks his heart.

"I cared about him so much but I never knew that he ... that he was going to take his own life," Malone sniffs again, "How did I not see it? Fuck me, man."

"It is not your fault sweetheart." Sidney tries to console the desperate man.

"I know its not. But I can't help feeling like I should've done something." Ryan says.

Sidney rubs his face, "There's nothing you could've done."

"How do you know that?" Malone asks, his voice slightly below a whisper.

Sid can't really think of a good answer. He's no good at these things, "When some people, like you and me and Tyler, have made a decision, we stick to it. There's no changing our minds."  
"Maybe if I was just there to support him then-"

"There is -nothing- you could have done." Sid repeats slowly.

Ryan stay quiet for a long time before final saying, "Could I, um, come to Pitt tomorrow and talk in person?"

"Of course. You can come whenever you want." Sidney replies.

"Sidney, I love you."

"I love you too."

~

Practice goes as well as it can when you're pregnant and worrying about your friend's mental health. However, he manages to stay out there with everyone else without getting tired.

"Proud of you Squid." Colby says as he elbows the younger man.

Sidney smiles, he's proud of himself too.

When Sid had started to put on his belt after changing, his phone vibrates. Picking it up, he sees that Ryan texted him.

'Did you leave me or a key or do i have to stand out here til you get back?'

'Its under the mat silly'

A few minutes later, 'it was in the flower pot dork!!'

Sid smirks, 'i wasn't aware I even had a flower ..'

'Oh no, its dead' a second later 'OH MY GOD YOU KILLED MARC!!!!!!!' And then 'Kris is gonna kick your bubble ass. No bullshit'

At this point, Sidney is trying his hardest not to make it to obvious he's dying of boxed up laughter, which is harder than you'd think, 'omg stop! You're killing me'

'Then Ovie would kick my ass' Ryan texts.

Sid tries to turn so his red face is covered by the walls of his stall. Biting his lip to keep from laughing our loud. 'I'm going to kick your ass'

'I might like that'

Sid blushes, deciding just to toss his phone back into his bag, the last of his chuckles escaping him as he finishes getting dressed.

"Does Squidy have a girlfriend?" Colby asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively and taping his foot against Sid's.

"What? No." Sid replies.

"Probably just Malone again, huh?" Flower asks, giving him a look.

Max closes his eyes, when he reopens them, he looks sad and a bit lost. His shoulders slump and he leaves in such a hurry that no one even notices he was upset except Sidney.

"Since when did you become friends with Malone?" Army asks, giving him a look.

"I've always been friends with him," Sid says, "Hell, he's my best friend."

Flower snorts, "Are you, like, sleeping with him or something?"

"That's -real- funny coming from the guy who's divorcing his wife for -his- best friend." Sidney knows that its a low blow the second it comes out of his mouth. Marc's eyes go wide, as if he never knew his captain had a dark side, "And so what if I was? Anyone would be lucky to end up with someone who's half the man he is."

Fleury puts up his hands, "Sorry man. I just don't like the guy."

"Well I do. So keep your comments to yourself." Sid snaps as an the familiar need to defend Ryan's honor, as he always when does when the American's name is brought up, overwhelms him. Causing his blood to boil and his adrenaline to take a dramatic spike which makes his heart beat just that. Much faster. His responses get even more hurtful and deep as he loses control.

"What the hell is your problem?" Tanger asks, standing by his lover.

"What the hell is -my- problem? Really?" Sidney asks, loathing the aggressive tone of his own voice, "I'm not going to apologize for trying to defend someone that I care about. Okay? So instead of looking for apologies that you'll never get, maybe you should find another home to wreck since you're so damn good at it."

Tanger tries to charge at his captain, but Flower holds him back, "Let me the fuck go so I can kick his ass!"

Sidney sort of wishes Fleury would just let him go. There's absolutely no way in hell he'd be able to take Kris down in a fist fight. But damn, he really wants to punch something.

"What the fucking hell is going on in here?" Brooksie yells, walking in there like he controls the place (he might as well since he's the only one who ever does anything.)

"Sid is causing drama." James replies, keeping his head bowed.

Sidney has really had enough of this little prick always putting his nose into his shit, "You really want to get into my business right now bitch? I will beat your precious little face in. Lets see who wants you as their whore then." He snarls, "More importantly, let's see if Geno over here would keep letting you be his whore."

Geno gets in Sid's face, "I no know what's wrong, but I ask you nice to stop once."

"What you gonna do? There's absolutely no way in hell you'll hit me. You're to much of a pussy." Sidney manages to get out before Alex takes him by the shoulders and roughly shoves him out of the locker room.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Sidney asks, glaring up at the other man with as much anger and hatred as he can muster.

Unfortunately, his rage dies down along with his adrenaline, his heart beat slowing under the Russian's strong gaze.

"I don't know what wrong with you. But you need stop. Unlike Geno, I no think of actually hit you. I know it be bad for you if Mario know about this. So if you no calm down, I no problem being snitch."

Sid just stares blankly into his eyes. Eyes that mesmerize him. Eyes that turned him on. Convinced him to have sex several times without any words. Ones that he will never erase from his memory.

"Earth to Sid." Alex says, waving his hands in front of the dazed man's face.

Sidney blinks a few times. Alex cocks his head to the side and he just ... Looses control.

The Canadian flings himself onto Ovechkin. Greedily and desperately kissing the other man. It doesn't take long for the Russian to came. Shoving the smaller man's back forcefully against the wall as they fight for dominance. For once, he's not going to back down from this fight.

Alex is the one who, sadly, breaks it off. His small hard on rubbing against Sid's thigh.

"What the fuck wrong with you?" Ovechkin asks, his brows knitted together.

Sidney sighs, "I have no idea."

Alex takes a step away from him, wiping his mouth, "Get self together before game tomorrow. Flower no hold Tanger back and no one else will."

Sid nods, hating himself for wanting another kiss. To prevent that from happening again, he walks away hastily. Alex may or not be calling after him. He doesn't know nor care. He just wants to get out of here and go home.

Most of all, he wants to see Ryan.

He wants to know what Malone has been doing, because he certainly isn't playing. Hell, he was put on the injured list as 'undisclosed'.

The ride home is hell. He's so pissed at James and Tanger and Flower and Alex and Geno, but mainly himself (and James). He doesn't know what made him say those things (about Tanger and Flower) they're totally untrue and he didn't mean them. (James is a whore, more  
importantly Geno's, and he did mean it).

Tanger isn't a home wrecker. And Flower isn't leaving his wife for -just- his best friend. Marc and Kris are soul mates. They're destined to be together!

In between being pissed off at everyone and trying not to get into an accident, he's worried about Ryan. He's probably wrecked, heart broken, and sensitive. So all his emotions drop at the door.

When Sid gets home, its almost a relief. Taking a deep breath, he climbs out of his car and into his home. The only safe haven he has when Alex isn't there.

Ryan is sitting on the couch when Sidney opens the door. He snaps his head up immediately. Jumping up and jogging over to the Canadian.

"I've been so worried about you." Sidney confesses, pulling Malone in for a crunching hug, "I'm so sorry about Tyler."

Ryan pulls away, "Can we not talk about him?"

"Of course. What did you want to talk about then?" Sid asks.

"Well, um .. How was practice?" Ryan questions.

The smaller man kicks off his shoes, walking over to the couch, "Stressful as all hell. You don't want to hear about it."

Malone sits next to him, "Yes I do."

"Fine."

That's how Sidney spends the next two hours talking non stop about his problems with his teammates (James), everyone he hates with a passion (James), weird people (Dan Potash), his family (which was off topic and relieving), and how he really doesn't like many people while Ryan listens, wordlessly taking in all his life problems.

"And that's about it." Sid sums up.

"You are one fucked up mother fucker." Ryan says, taking a sip from his water.

Sidney chuckles lightly, "Yeah, well that's me." He rubs his face, "So, um, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Malone sighs, "I don't know .. I just wanted to see you again. You're the only person who I can lean on right now."

"I'm really, truly sorry about what happened." Sid says softly, "Everything that has gone on in your life, its .. its something I could never be able to go through as well as you have."

"That's because I have an amazing best friend."

Sidney blushes, "Well, I love you and I'd do anything for you."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Get back together with Ovechkin."

Sidney blinks, "What?"

"I don't want what happened between Tyler and I to happen to you and him." Ryan explains.

"Our situation is different-"

"Fine, hes Russian and his country is filed with homophobes. That doesn't mean you cant have a kid with him."

"But I could never put him through making that decision .."

Ryan gives him a look, "Then how do you plan on hiding a kid from your teammates, especially Mario, for the next eighteen years?"

Sid sighs, "I .. I don't know .. I just don't wanna ruin his life, you know?"

Malone wraps an arm around his shoulders, "I know. We'll figure this out together. I'll be here for you every step."

"You don't have to."

"I want to, Squid. I love you and I want you to be happy."

Sid wraps his arms around his waist, "Thanks Bugsy. You're the best."

Ryan kisses the top of his head, "Anything for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marc did leave his wife for his best friend, but only because he fell in love. Kris is not a home wrecker. And James is not a whore (just don't tell Sidney that). But Dan Potash is most definitely weird.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Sidney wake up to the sunlight shining on his face. Ryan's body pressed up against him. He notices that his alarm clock hasn't gone off yet and it's way to bright for it to be before seven.

Reaching for his phone, Sid jumps up when he sees its ten fifty-two, practice started a little over ten minutes ago.

"Fuck. Shit. Fuck." Sidney swears under his breath as he goes to his closet.

"Come back to bed babe." Ryan groans.

The Canadian rushes to find something to wear, "I'd love to sweetheart, but I'm already late for a _mandatory_ practice."

Malone sits up, "Yeah, I have to call Coach today too."

Sidney manages to find a clean pair of pants that slip on easily and a shirt that covers his stomach on top. He skips brushing his teeth, jumping straight to a quick comb of his hair.

"Coffee is downstairs. Food in the fridge. Make sure you look the door if you leave." Sid orders, giving Malone an awkward hug. He and Ryan had a great talk about their feelings. He felt like a teenager staying up until one in the morning to talk with his best friend. Trying to shake it off, the Penguin slips on his slides as he races or the door. He thankfully only lives six minutes away from the Consol (yes he timed it, don't judge), so he's not that late.

"There you are." Dan says there moment he walks into the locker room.

"I know. I'm sorry. I overslept. Never happen again." Sid apologizes as he rushes to get his gear out there.

"Did you ... Have company?" Coach asks, the awkwardness of the conversation hinted in his voice.

Sid sighs, "Yeah .. I, uh, did. But its nothing serious and you shouldn't be worried about it."

"Has your relationship effected your mental stability?" Bylsma asks, "And don't lie. I already know what happened."

"Who told you?" Sid questions as he changes.  
.  
"Well, I came in after you left. Tanger was sobbing. Neal looks wrecked. Geno was about to punch a hole in the wall. And Alex was pissed off. I demanded to know what happened and Duper told me." Dan sighs, "I'm really glad you finally found yourself someone, no matter how serious it is our isn't. But I don't this new relationship to bring out an ugly side of you that causes bad chemistry."

"They were talking sit about him. I mean, he and I are friends. And he used to be a teammate! They have no right to talk about Ryan like that." he words spill out of Sid's mouth before he thinks them over.

"Ryan as in Ryan -Malone-? As in Ryan Malone the -druggie-?" He points a finger at the Canadian, "I swear to fucking God Sidney. If you even consider -- no. If you even go _NEAR_ any drugs, I will issue a mandatory drug test. If you don't fucking pass-"

"I'm not doing drugs Coach and I never will." Sid snaps, "Look, Ryan isn't like that. He wasn't doing the drugs, nor did he plan to. And he only had a few drinks that night. So chill."

"I really do care about you Sid. And I want you to succeed, but I don't like this guy. He's bad for you." Dan says.

Something in Sidney snaps, "I don't quite frankly care. So why don't you just-" He stops himself, squeezing his eyes shut for a second, "I'm sorry. But I'm not doing drugs, and neither is he. We're both going through a rough patch right now and its the only way we can help each other out."

Coach claps him on his jersey covered shoulder, "Because I care about you, I'm not going to tell Mario. But if this continues, you'll be forcing me into making a decision that I don't want to."  
Sid nods, "I understand. And I won't hold a grudge if I put you in that position."

The Canadian sits down to put on his skates. Dan stands by his side, playing with Sid's stick as he gets ready.

"I switched you with Nealer. So you'll be on the second shift with Jokinen and Ovie." Dan says.

Sidney sighs (of course he did) as he takes his stick, "Okay. What are we doing today?"

"Well, we're going to be working on taking their aggression from you out on the Flyers tonight while you learn to play nice, alright?"

"Fine by me."

For the first time since 2005, Sidney's stomach twists and turns with unreasonable nerves. These are his teammates, they've gotten close over the years. What he said was harsh, but they're a family no matter what.

But that don't stop the angered glances thrown his way and it certainly doesn't keep Tanger and Geno from visualizing the way they'd slowly torture their captain to death (and Geno's Russian so he probably could) and glaring at his back long after everyone else has moved on.

"So I guess you're on our line now." Jussi says, a bright grin lighting up his face as he clasps Sid on the shoulder.

"Yeah. I guess so." Sidney replies, returning a fake smile.

Alex scratches the back of his neck, "Now we try super hard to make you best captain ever."

"Wait, like ... Better than Gretzky?" Joki asks.

Ovechkin gives him a look, "Way better!"

Sidney rolls his eyes, "Whatever. Can we just get to work?"

~

Practice isn't a total fail. Alex seems like he wanted to goof off more than anything. Jussi seems to have gotten used to the Russian's silly antics. Silently standing off to the side while Alex does his thing for a couple minutes before picking up where he left off as if nothing even happened.

By the end, he managed to stay out a bit longer than some people. He was trying to outlast everyone who was mad at him. But they all seemed to be waiting for him to get off.

"Come on Sid. Can no hurt yourself before we play Flyer. Beat them one million to none!" Ovechkin says.

Jussi snorts, "That's not even possible."

Alex gives him a look, "We have best team with best captain ever! Course it possible!"

Joki rolls his eyes, "Whatever man. Come on Sid."

Sidney -really- doesn't want to get off the ice. The tension in the locker room will be horribly awkward. Not to mention that he's extremely exhausted and in no way capable of dealing with the mess he's made.

Maybe he can get dressed so quick that he's gone before they get off the ice.

Sid actually manages to undress, shower, and redress as Tanger and Geno started taking their showers.

He was about to leave. All he had to do was grab his bag and walk out and he'd be good until tonight.

But then he sees James. The one guy he's never truly liked for whatever reason, looking absolutely miserable, and Sidney caused it.

So he goes over there and stands by Nealer.

"James," Sid begins, "can we, um, talk?"

Nealsy looks up at him through tear filled eyes, "Why? So you can call me a whore again? Trust me, I already know."

"You're not a whore. I didn't mean that and I'm truly sorry." Sid apologizes.

"Don't be sorry, its true." James sighs.

"You are -not- a whore," Sidney objects, "You're beautiful and nice and funny, even though its never directed towards me."  
Nealer sniffs, "You're just saying that. You hate me."

"I don't hate you." Sid says, "I always thought that you hated me. And I was saddened by that because I really wanted to get to know you."  
"I've never hated you." James sighs, "I was jealous because I thought you were perfect, y'know. You're gorgeous, smart, talented, and you don't flaunt it around. Not to mention that everyone likes you .. And I wanted to be like you."

"You're all those things too. But people like you because you're fun to be around. From the few civil conversations we've had, I can tell that you're a great person and anyone would be lucky to be with you." Sid says.

The winger stands, "Thanks, you have no idea how much that means to me. And you're forgiven." He pulls his captain in for a one armed hug.

Someone clears their throat loudly beside them. Sid pulls away from the hug to face Geno.

"You mean it?" Malkin asks, standing there with a very serious expression, arms crossed over his bare chest as water drips down from his hair.

"Every word," Sidney replies, "I apologize for what I said to you as well. You are definitely-not- a .. You know .. And I thank you for not punching me. Because I would've hit myself if I wasn't a whimp."

Geno looks him over, thinking it over for a minute. Then he smirks, putting his hand on his captain's shoulder, "Nisky say you very hard hitter."

Malkin will never say he accepts the apology, but Sid takes it that way.

After giving his Russian friend a hug, he slowly walks toward Kris.

"Kris, can I, um, talk to you?" Sid asks, his throat swelling up.

Tanger turns around to face him, his dark hair dripping wet, "If you came over here to give me some bullshit ass apology, I don't want to hear it."  
"Its not bullshit but its an apology." Sidney says, licking his lips nervously.

"Whatever." Letang scoffs, hosting his bag into his shoulder.

Sid sighs as he blocks the other man's way, "I'm sure you're already know this but you you're not a home wrecker. You and Marc aren't just best friends, you're soul mates. I failed to see that before and for that reason I'm - I'm sorry."

Sidney feels like he's shrinking under Tanger's cold gaze and Flower's judgmental one.

"We certainly appreciate you coming over here to talk to us, but neither of us are in a very forgiving mood." Fleury says kindly.

Tanger snarls, "Speak for yourself."

It looked like Flower was going to roll his eyes but thought better off it, "See you tonight Sid. Maybe he'll calm down by then."

"I'm perfectly calm." Letang says as he storms out.

"I really am sorry." Sid apologizes.

Marc's smile is small and weak, "Just ... Don't let it happen again."  
"Trust me it won't."

Flower just leaves him standing there. Thinking about how he was going to approach his next target.

"Hi .. Um, hi Alex." Sid greets, sitting next to the Russian.  
"Hi." Alex says, giving him a weird look.

"About what happened yesterday," Sidney begins, "I lost complete control of myself. And ... And I guess my true emotions came out. I'm just really sorry."

Ovechkin sighs, "I no idea what going on in head. And I no want to. I know that you think straight right now." He smiles small, "But you no allowed to apologize for kiss. Was good, did no wrong."

"But we're not even together." Sid points out.

Alex looks at his shoes, "Does no mean we .. Try again?"

The air gets struck in Sidney's throat, along with any words that make sense, "Hm?"

"You still like me. And I like you." Ovechkin tries to explain to an unresponsive Canadian. "So that mean we try 'gain."

He understands what the Russian is saying, he just can't form the correct words, "Um .. Well I just, er .. I don't, uh, know what to say."

"Either you agree and say yes, or you disagree and say no. You pick." Alex replies.

Sidney know _that_ , he's not an idiot after all. This is what Ryan wanted. And they should do it .. but that would mean coming clean about the baby .. 

"Well, I mean ... its just that I, um ..." Sidney says nervously, "I kind of have a, um ... lot of, er, things on my mind .. could we just, like, talk about this after the game?"

Ovechkin stands up, so the smaller man follows, "Why you always put thing off? Say you have something to talk about, but then you say later. Now I want talk and you say same. Why?"

Sid sighs, "Things right now are .. beyond complicated. And I want to make sure I'm making the right move before I .. I do what I have to do."

"You complicated person Sid." Alex points out.

'That's why I've never had a life before you' Sid thinks. Seriously though, this having a life concept is overrated.

"I know," Sid agrees, "But I promise we'll talk everything over tonight."

Alex crowds his captain's space, "We better. I drive Zhenya crazy asking if you say anything to him. He ready to kick me out house."

"I'm sorry." Sidney squeaks out, licking his lips.

Ovechkin takes a step back, grabbing his bag and turning away, "Zhenya! You make pie, yes?"

"Since when I make pie?" Geno asks, putting an arm around James's shoulders.

"You bad host, never make me food!" Ovechkin complains, throwing his arm around Malkin's shoulders in a way that looks so awkward and uncomfortable.

James turns his head around, mouthing 'Weak' with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

Sidney takes it all back. He dislikes Neal with every fiber in his body.

If only Nealer was a Flyer. His life would be perfect.

~

Sidney tries hard not to think the drive home. And focusing all his attention on the road isn't really that difficult (especially for six minutes).

Ryan's having an intense discussion on the phone when he walks in. The other man looks frustrated and hurt, it makes Sid's heart break to think about what he may or may not have to do if Alex accepts their family.

Malone hangs up the phone and tosses it on the table, "Stupid fuckers."

"What's wrong?"

"They're releasing me from my contract after the season." Ryan says.

"Damn, that sucks."

Ryan shrugs, "Whatever. I hate those fuck faces anyways."

"Yeah, but you got to play hockey there. And hockey is more important than anything."

Ryan gives him a look, "Is hockey the _only_ thing you care about?"

Sid shrugs, "I've surrounded my whole life around hockey. I spent the better part of my childhood in a rink. So its not like .. I have anything else to care about."

Malone looks at him with pity, "That doesn't mean you can't change that now."

"What else could I be interested in?"

"There are lots of things," Ryan says, "Like making friends, having a life .. being in a serious relationship."

Sidney sighs, "I know that you want whats best for me .. but I can't do it."

"You have to try-"

"I did try! I can't even look him in the eyes without thinking about what a bad person I am. Either way I'm hurting him."

"Well, if you just talked.."

"I'm not going to do it."

"You have to."

Sidney's blood starts to boil, "its my life and I can do what I choose to."

"But-"

"Leave."

"What?"

Sid heads for the stairs, "Leave now,"

~

After tossing and turning for what feels like hours, Sidney forces himself to get up and get his head ready for the game. Ryan is, unsurprisingly, gone when he comes downstairs. He kind of feels bad for the way he made the other man leave. So he sends him a text saying _it really is okay_ before continuing with getting ready.

The locker room is loud and filled with excitement. Everyone is pumped to play against their rivals, not to mention a game always boosts their adrenaline.

Well, everyone except Sidney.

He's extremely tired. Constantly rubbing his tired eyes as he goes through the motions of his rituals. He half asses their kick around soccer game (does it even have a proper name?), lazily kicking it forward.

After nearly taking a ball to the face for the second time, Geno pulls him aside.

"What wrong?" Malkin asks, his brow furrowed.

"Nothing." Sid mumbles.

"No lie to me Sid." Geno says, "You always more excited than anybody to play Flyer," he sighs, "You been acting weird .. Something do with Sanja?"

"No, no. I'm just .. I've been dealing with a lot as of late. And I'm .. tired," Sidney replies, "I'm so, so tired."

Geno frowns, "Sleep tired or people tired?"

"Mixture of both."

Malkin puts a hand on his shoulder, "We go out tonight."

"No. That's not a good-"

"Was no option." Geno pats his cheek before leaving.

He's done with people. Just done.

~

Maybe he's not done with _all_ people. Just those who play for the Flyers.

Are these refs _blind_? How are they not calling these hits?

By the second intermission, they're winning two to one, and everyone is ready to drop their gloves. Alex and Geno have been arguing in their native tongue the whole second period. Their defense is falling apart. The offense isn't much better. It seems like they're turning over more than they're connecting. The only reason they aren't winning is because they have a damn good goalie.

"I get it that you don't like these guys, nobody here does. But that doesn't mean you should try to beat the shit out of them and lose! What do you gain out of that?!" Dan shouts, his face bright red, "If you _really_ want to stick it to them. Win. The. Game. Got it?"

They all respond with a 'yes coach' that was filled with rage and determination to go out there and not do anything he said and kick their teeth down their throats.

Sidney was going to give a small speech, but his stomach hurts and the room is spinning, so he stays still until its time to go back out.

He has to keep a hand on the wall to prevent himself from falling over. Which makes the two Russians worry.

"Maybe you sit out." Geno suggests.

"No need to push self. Nothing to prove Sid." Alex says.

Geno frowns, "No one look down on you if do."

"I'm fine." Sidney hisses.

Ovechkin looks like he wants to continue arguing, but Geno says something to quiet him.

~

The third period is a complete disaster. The Flyers score four minutes in on Kuni's high sticking penalty. Then another not even two minutes later. Flower is _pissed_. He's doing all he can, but he can't block them all.

There's only five minutes left, and Crosby is a few seconds away from punching Giroux's face in.

Sid makes a pass to Olli that the rookie didn't even try to get. It slides past him, connecting to the tip of Downie's blade.

" _Fuck_." Sidney growls.

He isn't going very fast, nor is he in contention of receiving the puck. That doesn't stop Giroux from charging him.

The Flyer smashes him into the board, Crosby lands on the ice awkwardly. A sharp pain starts in his stomach and shoots up his spine. He tries to get up, but he can't.

So Sidney lays on his side. Breathing through forced gasps and seeing through blurry eyes.

"Sid?"

Alex's voice is muffled, but its clearer than anything else. Especially the paramedics forcing him away.

However, everything is quiet when Sid is lifted onto a stretcher. Which doesn't do much of anything except make his back ache more.

Sticks start banging against the boards. That means someone is beating the shit out of someone (a betting man would put his money on Claude being the victim).

Chris is saying something. Whether to him or someone else Sidney can't tell. His body keeps cringing with pain, he wants to curl into a ball and hide from everyone.

He sees Mario's face a few seconds after his hand wraps around Sid's. He tenses up even more, gripping the older man's hand as tightly as possible, and lets his eyes slide close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this sucked. I wrote it several times and this was the best version I had *sigh*.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you guys already know this,but for those who read the original version, I've made some changes.
> 
> Ryan and Sidney are no longer together because I found it a lot easier to just keep them at a friend status. The way I had it set up made a lot more sense in my head than when I wrote it out. I'm very sorry about this change, but this is what had to happen.
> 
> I realized the other day that I forgot the part where Alex got traded to the Penguins, but I'm sure we all got that part right? This is set somewhere in the time frame of after Jordan Staal got traded and before Colby and Max left (if that's even possible, but we're pretending that is.) But I'll go back and add it in anyways. Very sorry for the inconvenience.
> 
> I want to send a big thank you to everyone who has continued too read this since it started three months ago. I know I've kind of neglected this, but I'm going to finish up To Washington DC with Love and turn my attention to this until it gets done I promise.

Chapter Nine:

Sidney blinks one, twice. He can't see anything beyond this bright, white thing seeming to surround him. He blinks a few more times and his eyes start too focus on the room around him. The bright thing turns out to be a light (how he didn't realize that before he doesn't know) and there's a beige curtain that goes from the roof to the floor hanging above him, shielding him from the outside world. He starts to move, but it feels wrong. There's a ..tube in his arm? Why is that there? And why is he wearing a hospital gown? What the hell is going on?

"Sidney!"

Sid sighs in relief when Ryan comes in, a look of panic on his face. Sid's parents follow in. Trina on the verge of tears and Troy with a murderous frown. Then he remembers the game. He remembers being hit and not being able to get back up and Alex fighting his attacker. Obviously they're upset because he's hurt and he'll probably be benched with an upper body injury.

"Dear,the doctor said you were .. expecting a .. child. When .. How .. Why?" Trina stumbles, looking confused and upset.

Sidney's throat tightens and he looks at Ryan for help. Ryan stiffens, "It wasn't exactly his choice. Insure you two both know most pregnancies are unplanned, especially in .. Special cases."

"I wasn't even aware you liked men." His mom chokes out, tears flowing from her eyes.

"Do you understand what this will do to your career? How this will ruin you?" Troy snaps.

"Like I just said, this wasn't planned. It just happened and isn't his fault. So I'd really appreciate it if you'd cut him some slack " Ryan retorts. Sidney grabs his hand and gives him a look that says _stop_. Ryan, however, doesn't take orders very well, "Most parents in your position would be concerned about the fact they're son just a pretty bad hit and would be lecturing him about staying safer on the ice rather than blaming him for things he can't completely control."

"Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me what to do." Troy sneers, "You're Ryan Malone right? The drug addict? Didn't you lose your contract this morning?" Ryan opens his mouth to reply, but Sidney grips his hand and shakes his head. His dad doesn't stop there though. "I seriously hope you're not having a kid with this failure. I always figured you had pretty low standards but-"

"He's not the person I'm having a kid with but he is my friend and _I'd_ appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about him like that." Sidney interrupts, his voice wavering. The three people in room stare at him in surprise. He's never to his father like that before. He knows it's highly disrespectful and something he usually do if he wasn't so upset.

Troy clears his throat and grabs his wife's hand, "We're leaving."

"Dad-"

"Don't call me that. My son isn't a disrespectful queer." Troy snaps as they leave.

Ryan squeezes his hand, "I'm sorry I-"

"Don't be sorry. I should be thanking you, actually. I've never stood up to him before, always to afraid to. But I'm glad I did. Thanks." Sid says, squeezing back, "You're a really great friend. I hope you know that."

Something strange flickers in Ryan's eyes these quickly changes to pleasure, "Anything for you Sid."

Sidney bits the inside of his cheek, "So did the doctor say anything about..?

"Yeah. She said you're both fine. But she suggests that you stop now before that changes." Malone replies, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Stop that before you have lips like mine." Sid jokes, scoring when Ryan blushes.

"Maybe that's my goal." Ryan returns, sticking his tongue out.

Sidney rods his eyes and squeeze his friend's hand again. He's so lucky to the friend like Ryan. Someone who always makes him feel better without even really trying. He's so similar to Jack it's scary. Except Ryan hasn't tried to kiss him and he certainly doesn't feel that way about him.

~

Ryan as instructed takes Sidney over to Mario's, but doesn't want to go any further. Claiming he had to go back to Tampa and meet up with his agent. He definitely still wants to play hockey and would ho just about anywhere. But most importantly he wants to go somewhere he'll make a difference and be appreciated. Sidney can relate to that. Then again, he doesn't to worry about being traded.

As Sidney is going inside, Max comes out. When he sees his captain he grins wildly, "Hey Sid! You doing okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. But I've been instructed to stay at Mario's for the time being." Sidney replies.

"Won't save to hard a time doing that eh?" Max teases, patting his cheek, "You coming to practice tomorrow? The guys are works sick you."

Sid nods, "I'll definitely be there man. And tell them not to worry if you see them."

"Okay. See you later Sid."

"Bye Max." Sid says and how inside, "Nathalie? Mario?"

Nathalie rushes out of the kitchen, drying her hands on her jeans, "Hey Sid! You okay? You took a pretty bad hit out there."

"Yeah I'm fine. Everything's fine." Sidney replies, "Where's Mario?"

"Upstairs. In his office I think." Nathalie says and goes back into the kitchen.

"Thanks Nat." Sidney throws over his shoulder as he goes up the stairs. When he reaches the top, he turns left and finds the last door on his right. He's about to go in when he hears some talking.

".. You're doing really good and, should Sidney need some resting time I'd like you to sort of fill his shoes, so to speak," Mario explains, "I do know how the team feels about him and I know Sidney is their captain, but he took a bad hit last night Andi haven't heard any updates about his health so far. So, while this is a hypothetical situation, I want you to know you would be taking the captain's position should Sidney ever become injured for a significant amount of time. Do you have any protests or opinions you'd like to share?"

"None that I think of."

And that's - oh.

 _Oh_ Alex.

Making it seem like he wasn't being a creeper and listening on their conversation, Sidney knocks on the door and patiently waits after Mario tells him to wait a minute. When Mario finally does the door, he genuinely surprised.

"Sidney! Oh good." Mario says and embraces him, "Are you okay?" He takes a step back, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just have a big bruise across my chest, no big deal." Sid says and half smiles.

"Good, good," Mario looks between him and Alex, "Um .."

The three of them stand in awkward silence until Sidney clears his throat and forces himself to ask, "Alex would you like to have that talk now?"

Alex visibly perks up, "Yes."

Mario sends him a secret apologetic smile and holds his office door open for them. Being a gentleman, Alex let's his go first.

 _You wouldn't be treating me like that if you knew that I'm about to ruin your life_ Sidney thinks but forces himself to just calm down. Its not going to be that bad. It never is. Or so he hopes ...

"You not dying, right Sid? Don't STD or anything?" Ovechkin asks, his tone playful. But Sidney isn't in the playful mood.

"No, of course not. I just .. I have something really important to tell you." Sidney replies. Ovie nods and gestures for him to proceed, leaning against Mario's desk. Sidney gulps and pulls on the collar that seems too be choking him, "Its just that I .. Um I'm .. I'm," he takes a deep breath, "pregnant."

"I'm know."

"You know?"

"Yeah Sid," Alex rolls his eyes, "Been around lots of pregnant women and men. Know what it look like. That why I'm worried about you when you take bad hit from Flyers."

Sidney sighs in relief, this is going so much better than what he thought it would, "Listen, I want you to know that you don't owe me anything, okay? I won't be upset if you .. You know."

Ovie looks thoroughly confused, "Does Malone no want help with his kid?"

"What? No! Ryan and I are just friends." Sid explains, "The baby its .. Its yours."

Alex's eyes flicker across the room. As if he wanted to look at anything _except_ him. He wonders if maybe Alex didn't want this after all. That Mario was right, they wouldn't have a future. That he should've been safer. Maybe Troy was right too, that this with would ruin his career. And maybe even he's right, that this would ruin both of them. They're teammates now, so its not like Alex could say no and they'd never have to speak to each other again. No, they're in this for the long run either way.

Sidney opens his mouth to add that Alex shouldn't feel obligated to accept the responsibility of a father role and everything that comes with it just because they're teammates but Alex is -

laughing?

Sid blinks on confusion and slight amusement. He expected a lot of different reactions, but laughter was not one of them.

"Sorry sorry." Alex says as his giggles die down, "Just, momma always say I fool around with boys but I have marry girl to give her grandkids but this much better!"

"Wait, marriage?"

Ovie nods, "Get someone pregnant, how things work in family."

Sidney blushes. He definitely wasn't expecting that. "Look, we don't have to do that. I mean,I'd understand if you didn't want to come out. I know how your country is.."

Alex grabs Sid's hands and kisses his right knuckles, " I'm love kids Sid, want big family. Especially with you. Country deal with it or they never win gold ever. Zhenya, me, everyone else go to Team Canada and win everything."

Sid grins, the tenseness in his shoulder loosening, "Okay. If that's what you want."

"Want you. Forever Sid." Alex says, dropping his hands and wrapping his arms around his captain's waist.

Sidney presses his forehead against the crook of the Russian's neck, "That sounds good to me," then a thought pops into his head, "We're going to have to start working on baby names you know."

"Yeah. We do that later, yes?"

"Hey, you two staying for dinner?" Mario asks, poking his head inside with a huge smirk plastered on his face.

"If Sid not grounded, I take him to Zhenya's. He love babies." Alex replies.

"Okay. Don't do anything I wouldn't." Mario winks and closes the door behind him.

"We're telling Geno?" Sid asks, pulling back to meet his eyes.

"He best friend. Have tell Zhenya." Alex smirks, "Beside, you tell Malone."

Sidney presses back up against him, "Okay, but how about we gather the whole team up at Geno's and tell them all at the same time?"

"Okay. Have to go make calls though." Alex points out.

Either because they're both very uncoordinated or their phones suck, trying to call their teammates while not letting each other go seems to be impossible.

(They get it done though. And they keep hugging until they have to leave.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Remember, all feedback is greatly appreciated :)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten:

Alex keeps a hand on Sidney's leg the entire ride over, rubbing his thumb up and down. Sid does his best not to smile, but he's just so damn happy right now. He - he can't control it. Apparently it's contagious, because Alex hasn't stopped grinning either.

When they pull up to Geno's, a couple of cars are already there. Flower, Neal, and Duper, if he's not mistaken.

Alex gets out and tries to rush over to open the door for him, but Sidney is already out and glaring at him. Ducking his head, Ovie gently shuts the door and takes the Canadian's hand, leading him up the stairs.

"I can walk by myself you know." Sidney points out, but doesn't move away from the other man's warmth.

"You have baby in you. Not allowed do anything that can stress baby." Alex says, giving him a stubborn look.

"Since when?"

"Since I put my dic-"

Sid blushes a dark red, "Never mind." Sid squeaks. Alex chuckles and pushes open Geno's door, not even bothering to knock. Sid makes a mental note to teach him about manners and to scold Geno for leaving his door unlocked.

Geno comes around the corner, a white shirt clinging to his shoulders and white shorts hanging loosely on his hips, his mouth open like he's about to say something. His brow creases together when he sees them, and it's only then Sidney realizes he and Alex are still holding hands. Ovie seems pretty proud of himself because he's grinning from ear to ear.

They exchange quick words in Russian before Geno turns to Sidney, a smile starting to form on his face.

"You and Sanja together? I so happy Sid!" Malkin says, full on beaming now, "You need whole party at my house for share big news? Why not use own house?"

"Well, Alex wanted to talk to you about the b.. big news. So it would be easier this way." Sid explains. Geno still looks confused, but agrees anyways.

Flower finds Sidney awkwardly standing by himself in the middle of Geno's kitchen, resisting the itch to pace, after his Russian sidekicks had left. The goalie slings an arm across his captain's shoulders, "Oh captain, what could you possibly want on our day off?"

"You'll see." Sid replies, forcing a smile that he hopes doesn't show his nerves.

"Stop scaring Sidney before he runs away and we never find out." Duper says, pushing the goalie lightly. Marc takes a step back and pouts.

"Whatever. Does anyone want a beer? I'm thirsty as fuck." Flower asks, turning to the fridge.

"Yeah. I'm dying." Pascal answers.

"Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks." Sid says, hands inching towards his pockets.

"Come on cap. Live a little." Nealsy whines (yes, whines), putting his weight on Sid. He resists the urge to roll his eyes because right now he does not want to deal with this kid's shit.

"I highly doubt drinking an alcoholic beverage will help me live a little. Technically, it has the opposite overall effect if the behavior is continued." Sidney protests.

"What's going on?" Paulie asks, getting a beer out of the fridge.

"Sid's confusing me with his big captain words and long sentences." James replies, somehow managing to put more of his weight onto his weight.

"Get off of me fat ass. You're heavy." Sidney orders.

"Is that what you say to all the pretty girls?" Nealer asks as he steps away, batting his eyelashes as he walks backwards out of the room.

"What was that about, eh?" Flower asks, giving him a look. Sid shrugs and watches silent as the goalie walks away.

"SID!" Geno yells as he barrels into the kitchen, stopping an inch from his captain. Sidney winces, expecting like a punch, or something. But Geno strokes his face, a flood of Russian flowing from his mouth. Alex comes up behind him a minute later, putting a hand on the fellow Russian's shoulder.

"Calm down Zhenya before you give Sid heart attack." Alex says - in English for Sid's sake.

Geno blushes and looks away sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I'm very happy."

Sidney smiles and feels his cheeks burn a little. Ovi pushes Geno out of the way, and presses a kiss to the Canadian's forehead. He hears Geno make a cooing sound but ignores it in favor of pulling Alex close.

"Will you hurry the fuck up so I can go home?" Tanger shouts from the living room.

"Yeah, Croz. Tanger needs to not get laid!" Kuni chirps. Someone - presumably Flower - curses at him in French and threatens to kill his entire bloodline.

"I better go in there before a fight breaks out." Sidney says, reluctantly pulling away. Alex pouts and Malkin makes more cooing noises. Which - they're going to have a talk about that later.

Sid walks out into a room full of his teammates, carefully keeping his hands out of his pockets. This shirt doesn't hide his stomach as well as his other ones and putting his hands in his pockets will, unfortunately, make it worse. Besides these are his teammates, his friend, he shouldn't feel awkward around them.

"Hey, guys." Sid begins, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about having to call you guys in on our day off, but there's something really important I wanted to tell you all and I didn't want to put it off any longer."

"Just get on with it, Creature." Army says, smiling proudly up at him.

Sidney chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his neck. "The thing is that I'll be out for the rest of the season because I, um, I'm.. uh. I-"

"Oh god, is it another concussion?" Max asks, leaning forward. His face matches everyone else's - brow furrowed, eyes showing concern, mouth slightly parted.

"No! It's not bad. It's just that I'm, um," Sid pauses, taking a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."

They all stare at him, eyes wide and mouths hanging open. They're all - amused? Shocked? A definite mixture of the two. No one says anything - almost like they're afraid to. Except Flower, of course.

"Is it with Malone? Because I swear to God I'll kick his teeth down his throat for touching you like that." Flower asks. For once he actually sounds intimidating.

Why does everyone keep thinking he's with Ryan? "No. We're friends. Just friends." Sid says. His eyes flicker to Alex for assistance.

"Well, who's it with then? Somebody is going to get punched." Flower questions, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're not punching anyone." Sid says, glaring at his goalie.

"How you punch this pretty face anyways?" Alex asks loudly, pointing at his face.

Flower's face goes through a mix of emotions as his eyes go between Sid and Alex. "What the fuck?" He squeaks. Maxime falls to the floor laughing, pulling Army down with him.

Sidney shifts from foot to foot, rubbing the back of his neck, when Tanger comes over. They're not on speaking terms and he doesn't look the defenseman in the eye. So he isn't sure what to expect.

Kris gently puts an arm around his captain's shoulders, pulling him in close. "Guess we're both stuck with idiots, eh?" He asks, teasingly, or course. Sid chuckles.

"So, how far along are you?" Tanger questions once he's pulled back.

"Five months."

Tanger's face falls, "Wait - so, you were -" At his side, his hands clench into fists. "I'm going to kill anyone who has ever put on a Flyers jersey."

"Even Max?" Sid asks, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

" _Starting_ with him." Tanger turns around and calls out "Hey Fleu! Wanna go beat the shit out of every Flyer in history?" in French.

Flower visibly perks up, "Oh Max!"

Alex fills Tanger's spot as the defenseman trots away. He snakes his armsaround the Canadian's waist. "Let's go my home now?" Sidney nods absentmindedly, enjoying the way Alex's body is warm and solid.

"I'm come with?" Geno asks, practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Of course! You think I'm take care of Sid all by self?" Alex replies, guiding their captain to the door. "You guys leave Zhenya's place now or he lock you in!" He calls to the team. They all shuffle out without managing to hurt each other (which is a miracle in itself) and Ovi helps Sid get into the car (they're definitely going to have a talk about that later).

He texts Mario to tell him that the team knows and they reacted well. He feels pretty good until Mario replies.

_what do u want to do about the media?_

Sidney locks the screen and slides his phone into his pocket. He sneaks a glance at Alex, a grin plastered on his face. He never wants this moment to go away.

But what are they going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really not how I wanted this to go. I've tried writing this a few times but have been unable to come up with anything better than this. I'm sorry for the wait and I'm sorry that this is the result. This has about two more chapters left, so hopefully you guys can hang in there with me until then.
> 
> Thanks for reading. All feedback is appreciated (but please go easy on me. I know this was bad).


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